Expert: Joanne - 10/28/2008

Question
Hi there.
Back in August this year i had a misscarriage. At the time i was getting morning sickness etc. After i loss the baby i still felt sick all the time, didn't have any appitite. I began making myself sick, which helped. It made me feel better, a kind of release.

I've always had a funny relationship with food, i'm extremly fussy even now as an adult, (not eating vegtables etc.., dont like people watching me eat, not a fan of food when i havent made it as i dont know whats in it)

I'm an intelligent person and have seen myself doing what i am doing (if you see what i mean). i know the dangers but dont see it as a problem coz i am aware of what i am doing and can then hence stop.
The problem is it's now November, i've lost 1.5 stone (now weigh 7.5stone)
I'm using the sickness to control things i think, ie; if i get upset or stressed out i'l make myself sick and i feel better - it's almost like i enjoy being sick!!

I keep getting little things wrong with me, like 2 weeks ago i had a big flare up of excema on my face, i get stomach pains, weakness in my right hand and foot and i dont know whether these are due to my poor eating habits at the moment.

My life has been very stressful, i work in advetrising, i care for my alcholic father and i loss the baby. I just want to know if this is normal really i guess. And do i need to see someone to be able to stop this cycle? is there something else you might know of that i can do to get the same relief? I dont really know what i want, i'm just seeing the changes in the mirror and am a bit scared, thought i should maybe ask someone.
Thanks
Rachel

Answer
Rachel

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you - personal health crisis left me in hospital without access to a computer or internet!  I am so very sorry!

I think it does sound like you have developed an eating disorder, especially since you are using eating behaviours in order to control emotions.  Intelligence has nothing to do with an eating disorder!  I regard myself as quite intelligent, and although I knew exactly what I was doing, it didn't stop me becoming very ill with an eating disorder!

Eczema tends to flare up in stressful situations, and I'd imagine that what you are doing to your body has it living in a constant anxious state!  Your body is also unlikely to be receiving the nutrients that it needs to maintain healthy skin, so can make bad skin much worse!  Stomach pains are quite common if you are making yourself sick, and starving yourself, but I wouldn't ignore these and get them checked out to make sure that you haven't done any damage!  As for the numbness, it can happen with an eating disorder, but it is not something that I would put down to that!  I would definitely get that checked out and have someone who is able to carry out investigations put it down to the eating disorder.  I want you to make sure that there isn't anything else going on in your brain or something like that!

I think that the best way to get over this is to see someone - someone trained in techniques to help you change your thought patterns, such as someone trained in CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).  You should find ways to distract yourself - doing something after meals so that you aren't able to go and purge.  You need to find other ways to cope with the stressful situations that you may find yourself in.

I do think, however, that it may be useful for you to speak to someone about the caring for your father (I'd imagine that is stressful), your job if it is stressful, and definitely somebody who can help you through your emotions over your bereavement.

Please get back in touch if there is absolutely anything else you would like to ask, and I promise that I won't take so long to reply next time!

Joanne