Expert: Joanne - 3/17/2008

Question
I am 40 years old and have been on diets most all of my life.  I have been very restrictive for the past few years.  At my heaviest I weighed 170 lbs. I now weigh 124 but would like to weigh 115.  I am 5'4" and have never been happy with my body.  I have 5 children, 1-22 year old and 4-18 year olds.  I had a tummy tuck in November I thought that would help my body image but I think it has made it worse.  Now I just look at other features I don't like.  I have gone for 24 hours without eating anything, and now I have been limiting myself to 800 calories or less daily, I also take laxatives daily.  I know that I need to get help but am not ready.  My husband is always asking me about what I have eaten.  I usually lie, or exaggerate.  Do you think I have an eating disorder?  I don't think I am underweight.

Answer
Barbie

You are definitely following disordered eating patterns!  The fact that you feel the need to lie about what you are eating suggests that you have a problem, but you are obviously very aware of it - it would be even more worrying if your lies were even convincing yourself!

You are following a starvation diet which has a long list of possible health complications that go with it, coupled with the laxative abuse, you are seriously damaging your body!

Your children are older, so maybe not quite as easily influenced by you anymore, but you need to be healthy so that they have healthy body images.  You need to be healthy so that you can see them do all the things that are ahead of them.  You need to be healthy so that you can now enjoy your life seeing as your children are at the point where they soon will be out living their own lives, the time that you now have to do whatever you have always wanted to do!

Eating disorders can possibly ruin relationships.  It seems as though your husband is maybe picking up on the problems you are having already.    Do you think he is strong enough to cope if you were to become seriously ill (or not to scare you, but possible lose you to eating disorder related complications!)?

Although you are in a different position to me in that you have a husband and children to recover for, ultimately, you have to do this for you!!  You need to want to do this for your own health, your own happiness, your own life!  Recovery only works if you go into it with an open mind, willing to receive the help and get better.  As much as you don't feel ready, I do believe that you have taken the first step here, and the sooner you can visit your Doctor and tell them everything, or find professional help for eating disorders in your area, the better.  Treatment tends to be much more successful, and doesn't always need to be quite as intensive the sooner that treatment is sought.  Eating disorders can become more habit than anything else, and the sooner a habit is broken, the better!

I can not sit here and say, yes you do have an eating disorder, but I can tell you that it sounds as though you have some of the signs of a possible eating disorder, so would recommend that you try to get help as soon as possible.

Joanne