Expert: Melissa - 5/11/2008

Question
hi,
Im 24 years old and am recovering from anorexia. I'm 174cm and now weigh 56kg which is up from 48kg so im at a healthy weight.I have had no professional help and decided i needed to get better with the help of my family.It took a while but I finally stopped writing down everything i ate and calorie counting. It was really hard at first but it has really helped me stop feeling guilty about what i eat. However since i stopped counting calories my weight gain has been huge. I'm not to sure how many calories im now eating but am guessing it is probably about 2500.I exercise 60mins, five days a week on my exercise bike.
I thought my weight gain had finally stopped because it  stayed the same for about 5 weeks.I felt happy at the thought that the weight gain had finally stopped and was ok about my figure, but it has shot up again I have got to the point now where i feel really really uncomfortable with my weight.Its all going on my thighs and does not seem to be a gradual thing. In one week i put on 1 inch on my thigh .In three months i have put on 3 inches around my thighs and bum. Its scaring me and i feel like i should maybe start restricting what i eat.I thought it took people years to gain this much weight.Should I start working out my calories and cutting back a bit. Is it simply a case of me consuming more than im burning off?
I just want the weight gain to stop i really cant handle getting any bigger.

Answer
Hi Emz,
You asked an excellent question. What you're experiencing is something I have and many others I knew from my own treatment experienced at some point in their recovery. It can be extremely difficult to find that balance between obsessing over your calories and not thinking about it at all. For me, the only way I could recover was to completely block out how much I was eating and not keep track of how much I was eating. If I started to think about it even the slightest I would freak out and start obsessing again.
If you are able to, I would definitely recommend seeing a dietician that specializes in eating disorders. I had an excellent one who helped with the very same issue you're talking about. If you can't see a dietician, I would try to work with your family on intuitive eating. Intuitive eating means becoming more attuned and aware of your body's hunger signals and distinguishing between emotional and physical hunger. When I was taught it in treatment, it was the step after having and following a meal plan.
However, I am not a doctor and I can't determine whether or not your weight is healthy or not. If you think you are ready to try to eat intuitively and not restrict I would recommend it. You can look for some books on it on amazon.com or seek a dietician who practices that philosophy.
I hope this is helpful and the answers you're looking for.  Feel free to ask any follow-up questions I'm happy to help. Best wishes and please keep me posted.