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Anorexia/Eating Disorders/Help! I'm so afraid!
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Question
I've always been brave. Whenever someone would describe me, they'd say, "Bold, courageous, fearless." But now I'm surrounded by so many fears, and I can't break free of them. Help!
I'm 15, and am 5'6'' and weigh 120 lbs. I used to weigh 132, but in the past months, I've been so worried about my weight and appearance. A few months ago, I started skipping meals and running 3 miles every night, so I've lost some weight.
Everytime I look down at my stomach, or look in the mirror, I try to see myself as someone else would, and I feel fat. I pinch my arms and legs at least 3x a day to see how flabby they are, and I'm constantly weighing myself. I compare myself to others every day.
I don't think I'm anorexic, because according to the charts, I'm not underweight, but I'm scared that I'm on the path to anorexia. But worse than that fear is the fear of being fat. I'm so afraid that I'm chubby, I can't bear it!
And though my dieting is working out okay, a lot of times I'll be craving a favorite flavor and give in to it.
I'm so confused. I want to lose a lot of weight but I don't want to be anorexic. I can't bring myself to tell my family or friends, but I think that my mom might have guessed- I talk about weight (both my own and other people's) a lot more than I used to.
I don't know what to do.
Hi Diane-
It sounds like you are really struggling, and I am sorry to hear it. The bottom line is that you need help, and you need it soon. I know that this may seem scary to you at the moment but, it is important to take this challenge on sooner rather than later. It does not really matter if you are under-weight or not. What matters is your thoughts and feelings. You are clearly scared and we need to get you some help. Please consider talking to your mom and do not under-estimate or hide your fears. If you do not want to talk to your mom maybe there is another adult that you can trust? I wish you the best of luck, please take care of yourself.
Dr. Lhulier
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Answers by Expert:
Joanna Lhulier, Psy.D.
Expertise
I can answer several different types of questions about eating disorders, and how to deal with them. I can help figure out how to determine whether an individual needs professional help; how to choose what type of treatment may be most effective (i.e. therapist, nutritionist, psychiatrist or combination). I can give information about what a person can do to avoid relapse which would include an explanation regarding how to identify and avoid triggers and give ideas about where to get help in person and online. I can also give advice to concerned family members or friends. Perhaps most importantly, I can help increase self-understanding and acceptance.
Experience
I have been in private practice for seven years. My specialty is working with individuals struggling with eating disorders and/or body image issues. I work with individuals, couples, and families.
Organizations
The American Psychological Association
Eating Disorders Hope
Division 39 of APA (Psychoanalytic Psychology)
Publications
I have published a paper about training in the Psychoanalytic Psychology journal which is sponsored by the American Psychological Association. My writing and presentation interests include exploring topics such as loneliness, the learning process, and the benefits of mindfulness meditation.
Education/Credentials
I have earned a doctorate in Professional Psychology from the George Washington University (2001). I obtained my Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology from Fairleigh Dickinson University (1997).
Awards and Honors
I serve as a member of the Clinical Supervisory Faculty for The George Washington University's Professional Psychology Doctoral Program. I am also an adjunct professor in Argosy University's Professional Psychology Doctoral Program.
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