Expert: Ginger M. - 8/31/2008

Question
My sister has been suffering from Anorexia. She is currently 5'1 and 69 pounds. I know that is underweight but how much danger do you think she is in in your honest opinion. Can you also tell me a little more about the disorder. The internet tells me facts but nothing really personal. Thanks for your time.

Answer
Hi Jana,
All of the doctors/nutritionists I know use the Body Mass Index (BMI) calculator to calculate what healthy weight should be. Using the numbers the BMI chart gives you, underweight is anything under 18.5, normal is between 18.5 and 24.9, overweight is between 25 and 29.9, and obese is anything over 30. Your sister's BMI is 13 right now, which is really low. Is she receiving any treatment? I would suggest she get some medical help ASAP! When my BMI was 15, I was admitted into hospital right away. A BMI that low, doctors say, puts her at risk for heart attacks or a stroke. To have a BMI of 18.5, your sister would have to weigh 98 pounds.

I know it's sometimes hard for people who don't suffer from an eating disorder to understand them, because they go against everything natural when it comes to survival. The absolute best, best, best website I've seen on eating disorders is www.somethingfishy.org. It really does an amazing job of describing every aspect of anorexia and bulimia exactly how someone suffering from one sees it, and has sections for family members dealing with eating disorders. It's hard to explain- you know how sometimes if you make a mistake, you'll catch yourself saying something like, "Ah, I'm so stupid!" in your head? With anorexia, it's like having that little voice there 24 hours a day, seven days a week, whether you make a mistake or not, and 20 times as harsh. No matter what the rational side of your brain tells you, the eating disorder can convince you that everything is your fault, and it would all be fixed if you were thinner/weighed less. When I was going through it, the worst thing someone could say to me was, "Why can't you just eat?" It made me feel like an even bigger failure, because I couldn't do it, and by not doing it, I felt I was letting my family down.

An important technique my therapist taught my husband to do is to not engage in any conversation with me about weight or size. If I told him I felt fat or asked him if I looked fat or like I was gaining weight, his answer was always the same: "I love you no matter what you look like." That was all he'd say. It was frustrating at first, but then drilled it in my head that a person's value is not measured by their weight or size. I eventually came to accept not everything in life revolves around numbers on a scale.

I hope this helps you! Your sister is so lucky to have someone in her life who cares about her so much and wants to understand what she's going through.

If you need anything else, just let me know- I'm here if you need me.

Ginger