Expert: Joanna Lhulier, Psy.D. - 8/6/2008

Question
Heyas,
I have struggled with a continuous e.d (bulimia nervosa) for 10 years.  I hated it from day one but couldn't stop. I used to throw up 5 times a day everyday.  Eating disorder specialists gave me work-books, cbt, etc but it didn't help at all. In fact it was useless because I kept telling them I couldn't rationalise what I was doing in my brain- I had 0 Impulse Control.  Also they labelled me anorexic with bulimic tendancies because they couldn't believe I could be such a low weight stuffing myself with as much as I did per day. But my rents had to lock the food up- I spend sooo much money on food and my family were at the end of their tether at the amount i wasted.

I had given up living, and wanted to die. I nearly ended up killing myself but that shocked my family into taking me abroad with them from the UK.  however it just got worse and I by chance put impulse control, along with bulimia into a search engine and came up with adhd. A psych over here gave me concerta and suddenly for the first 3 months of my life I am behaving like a normal person and thinking straight.  I also have many other symptoms of adhd (i used to eat in order to pay attn to tv, reading etc, talked non-stop, interrupted, rambled off topic, couldn't finish any degree I started or project).

However this sudden fix scares me. Its too easy. Have you heard of this before? I was never told there could be another disorder causing my eating disorder. I'm also afraid of the evidence piling up that this is the answer: adhd in adults is not recognised in the UK and that means that when I eventually go back I will have known how great it is to be free of bulimia, adhd and depression, yet only to realise it was a pipe dream. I'm afraid of losing the hope I allowed myself to feel in a future and the effect it will have on me.

Also the medication is making me unable to throw up even if i do give in to the faint voice of my ed telling me its losing, so binge.  Is this because I'm not frustrated in my head anymore so I focus on actually what I am doing andsee how sick it is? Or is there another cause?


Thanking you
Ally

Answer
Hi Ally-
I will be honest and tell you that I have not heard a story like yours before but you learn something new every day (hopefully).  That being said, I think it is wonderful that you have found something that is helping you!

One thing that a lot of bulimics and anorexics suffer from is a constantly active mind (thoughts racing).  If the concerta is slowing your mind down and enabling it to focus, I think that this not only makes sense but is very useful information.

Try not to question your improvement and growth.  Take credit for your recovery and keep in mind that if things change you now have a certain knowledge that things can be better and you can regain this peace of mind.

I am very happy for you and wish you the best of luck.
Dr. Joanna Lhulier