Expert: Nafeesah - 9/7/2008

Question
My name is Jessica and I am a seventeen year old living in Texas. I was bulimic with anorectic features for five years, from the time I was 11 until I was 16. I turn eighteen on November 1st.

For the past year or so, I have been healthy, and have stayed around 115, which is a huge deal for me as I weighed 85 for years.

I have TMJ as a result as my PTSD, OCD and Bi-Polar tendencies when I am bulimic, and had cut from the time I was nine until my sixteenth birthday.

I am on anti-depressants, but only take them on occasion.

Recently, I have been sensing myself leaning towards my old life and have lost control on several occasions. It's been over a year now and I have everything I want; a steady boyfriend (almost two years now,) a family made of my friends, my theatre work, and prospective colleges.

However, I have been very stressed. I am not capable of dealing with stress. When I am stressed, I don't eat, don't sleep, I have panic attacks and flashbacks, and basically just lose every sense of who I have become.

Please... how can I learn to not stress out? How can I balance my emotions and my feelings, my responsibilities and my hobbies?
How can I block out memories that trigger my flashbacks? How do I get through a panic attack when I am alone?

How can I look at food without mentally counting the caloric intake and fat content.  How can I eat more than two meals a day? (Even though I don't purge anymore I still don't eat regularly. I usually eat a little dinner and some lunch.)

I don't know what to do. I've maintained my control for this long, but I'm losing it now. Please help me.  

Answer
You have to learn how to engage in other things than binging and purging. I had to learn that in my own battle with an eating disorder. Surround yourself with things that make you happy outside of food and purging. Life can be stressful, but it's how well you manage that's the most important. If you need help with that here's a website that can get you some support for those who have battled or need help with an eating disorder....www.something-fishy.org and they have resources in there to help you get what you need to deal with your eating disorder. If you're still not eating regularly you need to talk to someone about it.