Expert: Leigh-Anne Persing, PA-C - 9/20/2008

Question
My best friend is anorexic. i have no doubts about it.

I have a really good friend of mine, who recently got a boy suspendd at school. that was before school ended, and she never meant to do so. HE was being extremely rude and she got ahead of herself and told the principal. That day she cried and cried because she felt SO guilty. Thats all she would talk about all summer. she was so scared of facing him.

This year, when she saw him again, she realized that he never wanted to talk to her again. He even swiched lockers with someone because he didn't want his locker to be next to hers!
Recently, about two weeks ago, I found out that she told herself she didn't deserve to eat. she made an oath to herself that she wouldnt eat until he forgave her. I yelled at her, i was SO mad i told her that she was stupid and she makes stupid decions. i didnt understand why she would do something like that!!

Plus, she's a competitive swimmer. She swims 6 times a week for 2 hours. A few days ago, she came up to me and told me that she couldnt stop. She wasnt eating breakfast or lunch, or dinner. The only time she ate was a bar before swimming, and when her parents made her. She is 5'5" and 114 pounds. That may sound fine, but really i know its not, especially since at the begining of the month she was 125. She also fractured her ankle in 5 places, and now its not healing. She got a cold two weeks ago, and she was sniffly, and now i cant bear to hear her talk because she sounds like shes DYING. Her cough sounds like shs about to cough up her lung. And yesterday she told me there was blood in her stool.

I persueded her to tell her mom, and her mom got angry and sad and everything you can imagine. THey went to the doctor, and he said she needs to see a psychiatrist. Exxcept i dont know WHEN that is, and her problem is getting worse. i dont even know if she'll go!'

And today, its my friends birthday party and we're gonna eat junk food and pizza and eveything, and its gonna be lots of fun. i was excited until She called me and told me not to make a fuss when she didnt eat anything. i was os mad, i was just sielent. I askedher if she told her mom and she said that she said she might not eat, and shes gonna tell her that she did after that party.

She says she doesnt get hungry anymore. if makes me so sad

please help me, this is tearing me apart

Answer
You are taking the right steps... you've talked to her about her problem, you've shown and told her that you are concerned. At this point all you can do is continue to support her and help her in any way that she thinks helps. By helping her I mean that you should let her know that you are there for her and that she can tell you anything without you getting upset... you need to be an ear for her to talk to, a shoulder for her to lean on... not another parent to tell her what to do and what not to do. Encourage her to keep communication lines open, not only between you and her, but between her and her family and her physician/psychiatrist. Eating disorders are complex... don't think that you can fix her problems for her. Leave that up to the professionals/experts. Eating disorders that a combination of medical monitoring, nutrition instruction, and psychotherapy. The lying and deception (telling her mom she's eating when she really isn't is quite typical of an individual with an eating disorder). I would encourage you to encourage her to be truthful with her mother. Everyone only has her best interest at mind.