Expert: Nafeesah - 9/26/2008

Question
I've been dealing with my ED behaivors for almost two years. And I've been trying to recover since the last 7mos maybe.. since then i've been noticing more my ups and downs. I was so positive i had recovered, that i was 'cured', hence my spiritual growth.. but, then i suffer a big dissapointment when my own grandma' suggest a pill treatment to lose weight, i knew i should've said no.. but i'm such an ass, she gave me sibutramine and carnitine, and.. it was like a huge flashback would come back at me.. the feeling of no-hunger was too tempting. I quit eating for a week, then i started eating again, very poorly.. im scared of stop having the pills, i know i might gain lots of weight right after i start eating and stopped having the pills, and i know my cycle.. i dont want to binge-purge again.. ='(.. i might not finish the treatment of weight-loss cause my grandma is noticing what is goin on.. me not eating and stuff.. i can't stop on cheating on her, lying.. - frustrates me cause, i might be fooling her around, but im also fooling myself. - it hurts knowing that i know i am harming myself by not stoping and not being able to reach out for help from my parents. i know how they will react.. if i go and tell them i quit eating out of nowhere.. they will force fed me.. which will lead me to a unstopable binge-purge episode.. i'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to face this again.. i dont want to eat at all .. so i dont have to go thru that. How do I stop the pills without gaining weight right after?.. im scared.

Answer
Your grandmother doesnt know how serious it is to give someone who's dealing with an eating disorder pills. Most women depending on extent of their eating disorders abuse pills and other drugs. Your grandmother should leave the medicating and treatment of weight loss to a doctor she's not qualified to give you medication. A doctor needs to monitor what you're taking so that you don't suffer side effects that can be dangerous. If you need help go to this website it's called Something-fishy.org and it gives you support and resources to counseling and treatment programs. Please consult with your doctor because the only way you'll deal with things is if you talk to a trained and qualified treatment and therapy specialist. Talk to someone about what you're feeling and they should be able to help you to deal with what you're feeling and help you get the necessary therapy program and treatment plan.