Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 10/26/2009

Question
QUESTION: I have been in recovery for anorexia for about 4 months now. I am gaining weight properly, only 10 lbs from normal weight! Thing is, my eating is not normal at all. I tend to eat from 5000-7000 calories on weekend days. And it's just like I don't really care. I don't know if im just seeking confort in food, or what. I'm scared itll never end.
On week days, it's easier because I'm at school, so I can only eat what I bring in my lunch. But then again, breakfasts and suppers are hard.
And I'm scared also because I can't seem to bring myself to care. I don't even try really to tell myself I wont binge at next meal.

Help?

ANSWER: Dear Antoine,

First of all, congratulations on being in recovery!

I'm so glad that you wrote -- it's important that you are in therapy right now.  Weight restoration is just the tip of the iceberg.  I have seen many people recover from one eating disorder only to switch to another one.  It sounds as if this is what you're doing!

On the weekends, you don't have the structure of school so it's important that you take some time, stop, and figure out first what you're going to eat that day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Then stop again, and figure our what you might be feeling if you weren't feeling like bingeing --  

Is there any way that you can give yourself some structure during the weekend by planning not only your meals, but also your days?  Is there anything that you love to do like paint, or music, or walking, reading mystery novels, etc.?  Anything that is a passion of yours?  This could also be a good key for you.

Let me know how you do -- I'm here to help!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks a lot for answering.

I do understand I need to set some structure on weekends, but the thing is that at home, weekends are very unstructured. I'll be lucky if there is even a dinner planned in the evening - basically it's all up to myself.

I'm scared to talk about my parents about it, cuz im supposed to be out of my anorexia, and they're busy enough, and I'd suppose they'de be bothered to have to start it over caring about my eating and such.

About indulging in another activity, well, to tell you the truth, I'm very very busy. My days are already pretty full, weekends included; with activities that I like, though.

Sometimes, it just feels like I'm scared of losing again....my next appointment is in a week; I'm so scared my doctor will think I haven't gained enough. And my heart rate is not getting so much the better (around 55 at rest).

But I can say that I have a renewed will about this. And for the first thursday in a long time, I am not looking forward to bingeing at all. Lots of stuff happening all around my life keeping my mind busy elsewhere.

Thanks again for listening~

ANSWER: Dear Antoine,

Guess what -- your parents don't have to be involved with your eating.  You can set your own structure during the weekends -- when you first get up in the AM, think about what you want to eat that's on your food plan for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Remember your parents can't be your food police -- but you can learn to care for yourself!!

I'm so glad you have a lot going on for you and that you're really busy!!

Warmly,
Jeannie

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: First off, I'd like to say how grateful I am for your help.
The weekend did not go just as well as I thought it would, but things are definitely getting better. Although I have to admit that planning how much I will eat really tires me; almost bringing me back to anorexic days.

Next appointement with doctor is thursday. I had binged last time, right before, and my weight had shown very high. I'm scared he won't think i gained enough (that's really the last thing I need).

Now, I have a question. I hear it's common when in recovery: I feel all the weight is going to my belly and face(i still find my arms, legs and behind are too skinny!). I have never really had any trouble with my belly, but now it's starting to unnerve me. Feeling it hanging there. I know this sounds like its just me panicking, but I seriously doubt i ever had that big a belly. So, is the weight going to spread? In how long?

Answer
Dear Antoine,

What you're feeling is very common.  Your weight will be redistributed-- usually anywhere from 3-6 months.  When you plan your food, use your meal plan as a guide -- you can do this!!  Step by step!!  You're at the hard part right now.....And you're making it!

Warmly,
Jeannie