AboutMeg Expertise I am recovinging from about nine years with my eating disorder and while I am not a psychologist, I`ve accumulated a good deal of knowlege about eating disorders as well as my own experience over this time. I`ve mainly struggled with anorexia, but have definitely had times where I have engaged in bulimic behaviors as well. I also struggle with over exercising, but am about to be certified as a personal trainer and have learned moderation as well as how to treat my body well so it can perform at it`s best. I promise to give an honest answer to anything asked, and I want to say that while it is a long, scary road---it is possible to get free of this and it is so important to keep on taking little steps and knowing that you are not alone.
Experience Sufferer for nine plus years. Also, my Mom has strugged with this issue- as have others in her side of the family.
Question I'm 15, I have been struggling with eating the right amounts for around a year now, maybe more. Going from eating nothing to eating enough to eating loads. Through all of this i have hated my figure. I have been constantly been compared to my sis (who is 13 skinny and attractive) since she joined my school and for the last 2 week/ month i have been conscientiously stopping myself from eating. Maybe only a little a day. Around 200/300 cal. Also exercising for at least 1 hour / 1.5 hours a day. I know this isn't right and i keep on getting people at school who are saying 'don't turn anorexic on me' etc. But at the same time for the first time in ages i am feeling more confident in my body image. I feel right. This is how I'm meant to be, I've lost around a stone. I mean is this even bad enough to be considered an ED? I don't feel underweight. In fact I'm pretty sure I'm overweight...
I don't know what to do!? keep on going or get help... which I'm not a 100% sure i need. Ive just come out of therapy for Depression! I don't wanna go back in!
Answer Hi Liz,
Thanks for your question. I'm really sorry that you're going through this and hope that you can turn things around so that you feel better soon.
It sounds to me like at least a little part of you "knows this isn't right" and its really wonderful that you are reaching out and looking for answers about this before it gets worth. That shows your maturity and self awareness are both very high. I can tell that you have a lot going for you.
Its really impossible for me to say with definitiveness that you have an eating disorder (or are on the path to one) by just reading a note on the internet. That said, some things you mention: hating your figure, having trouble finding balance with your eating and using food/weight as a determination of your self worth, restricting your calories to very low levels and losing weight very quickly are all usually pretty good warning signs that all is not well.
I think that you know that this isn't good, but sometimes it helps to hear it from others and even see for yourself. Here are a few links to some self quizzes that might shed more light on this for you:
As for feeling more comfortable now, after losing weight and restricting, I can tell you first hand that this is often how a serious eating disorder begins. Restricting successfully and in turn losing weight can produce a false feeling of control (which is what I am guessing might be going on for you), but it unfortunately is a trap that gets you stuck in a cycle that ultimately erodes your self esteem and leaves you feeling very out of control.
You mention feeling like you are overweight, but I would guess that for you (as for most women), your body image is probably not close to how you actually appear to others. If you truly think you need to lose weight, the best thing to do is talk with your doctor or a nutritionist who can confirm that this is true and help you do it in a healthy way. Especially at fifteen, you are growing and your body needs energy and nutrients so that it can develop and let you be all that you can be.
Its wonderful that you got help for your depression and I applaud you for doing so. My personal opinion is that it would be beneficial for you to talk with your counselor about this stuff too, before it gets worse.
You sound like a very bright, mature young woman with a lot going for her and it would be sad to see that go to waste by your falling into the endless cycles of an eating disorder. Honestly, I know that it feels like its a positive thing (the weight loss, etc) at first but I swear that all it really gives you is wasted years and regrets.
I hope this helps and please write again if there is more I can help with.
Finally, here is one more link to a site with tons of really helpful information.
