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Anorexia/Eating Disorders/How to help/deal with my girlfriends disorder

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Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 12/30/2009


Question
First of thank you ma'am for reading my question.My names Is Trent and I am in the United States Air Force my girlfriend of sometime is still at home back in California and its been quite awhile since I've seen her. Awhile back she admitted that she had bulimia when she was a senior in high school. At first i was a bit shocked but I know you love some one no matter what and told her if she wanted to talk I was here. That's also a little tough you see because I'm currently deployed. She began to open up little by little til i found out she's had it since her freshman year of high school and that she still sometimes has set backs. she has a therapist which seems to do wonders for her but sometimes when she gets sad from the distance she says she purges because it numbs her from her feelings. I always thought eating disorders were to look a certain way but she seems to be using it as a coping mechanism to deal with me not being there. I do know that she does hate her body which is ridiculous, because shes 5' 6" weighing about 145 which to me is great. Sometimes i feel like i just make it worse by telling her i thinks she beautiful and whenever i try she talks bout the distance and how she sometimes needs to "numb herself". Jeanne I'm lost, do you have any advice for a soldier who loves his future wife?  

Answer

Jeannie Rust, PhD
Dear Trent,

You are so sweet!  I hope your girlfriend knows how lucky she is!  You are doing exactly what you should be doing -- telling her how beautiful she is, telling her how much you love her, and really telling her that you're there to support her.

Eating disorders are truly coping mechanisms that people use to deal with stress in their lives.  The good thing is that she is seeing a therapist!  Set-backs are OK -- as long as she's able to stop again.  She knows the reasons -- now she just has to learn new coping mechanisms to deal with the stress and feelings in her life.

It must be so hard for loved ones when they have someone who has been deployed!  I want to tell you how happy I am that you wrote -- and how much I want to support YOU!

Please keep in touch and let me know how you do!!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol Recovery Programs
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
888-520-1700

Jeanne Rust, PhD

Expertise

I have been treating eating disorders for over 25 years and I have a doctorate in clinical psychology. I am an expert in anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorders and in co-occurring disorders as well -- depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. I was the official eating disorder therapist for the University of Arizona athletic department and love working with girls and women of all ages! 12 years ago I started my own treatment centers in Arizona where we treat adolescents and adults. I love working with people and have been helping people online since 1994. My hearts go out to the people out there who are unable to find help, who aren't sure whether they need help, and who don't have much of an understanding of the terrible consequences, emotionally and physically, that go hand in hand with the eating disorder. I view eating disorders as coping mechanisms that people use when they are under stress. I believe that eating disorders most times have many similarities whether it is anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating. The good news is that people can heal from an eating disorder and learn to create the lives they would like to live.

Experience

I have 25 years of experience in treating eating disorders of all kinds. I also do consultations for people who are starting treatment centers.

Education/Credentials
Northwestern University -- BA Masters in Counseling Doctorate in Clinical Psychology -- Saybrook institute

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