Expert: Ryan Hale - 2/15/2009

Question
apparently i'm not fat and that I'm under weight by about a stone but i feel really over weight and i cry alot because of my weight i dont have a mirror in my room anymore as when i look in it i start crying i really despise the way i look and its got to the point were im weighing myself everyday and counting calories in my food and looking up pictures of anarexic people and searching weight loss tips over the internet and when i look at there bones sticking out i feel envious and jelouse coz to me they look beautiful and feminie and i wish i looked like it everyday im thinking about how i look and how i can lose weight and become like them when im out i cant wait to get back and look up pictures of anarexic people is there some sort of anarexia i have? please reply

Answer
Jennifer, the fact that this has become such a huge part of your life and that much of your life, including your thoughts are center on this issue means you have something that needs to be dealt with.  Anorexia is a disease that must meet a medical definition so I'm not sure that what you described to me is anorexia since I don't know how long this has been going on, your previous weight, your current weight or your calorie intake.  You do have an issue that needs attention though.

First, my expertise is in the area of athletes who either have to or need to adjust their weight and how eating disorders relate to their sport.  Therefore, I am not the expert you may be looking for, however, you'll need to seek out someone in person eventually, hopefully soon.

Second, quite often this condition is interrelated to other things going on in your life: romantic relationship issues, friendships, family situations, or the need for control in one or more areas of your life.  The very best person to help you through all of these things would be a qualified counselor...preferably someone who has experience in the area of eating disorders.  Also, if you don't click right away with one particular counselor, give it a chance and a few meetings to see if it will help.  You might need to seek out someone else until you find someone you really click with.  Just don't give up and give it a chance.

Finally, the condition of anorexia has many aspects.  we already talked about the psychology end of it, but there are also the needs for a nutritionist to make sure you are getting the nutrition you need and have a wide variety of food choices.  You may also need to have a primary physician to oversee your medical condition and they can also help coordinate all of the resources we've been talking about.  I also stress looking inside at your spiritual health...whether it's God, Buddha, Allah, or any other religion (or no religion, perhaps you choose to put your faith in nature and science).  I know a few people who felt like Buddhism and yoga/meditation really helped them.  This will help because you will realize that your are a creation of beauty and meaning and that you have a place in the world.

Please seek out the help I listed above.  it will give you your best chance at living the life you were meant to live and not one as a slave to an image.