Expert: Nafeesah - 2/10/2009

Question
My husband is with his 86 y.o. mother, who, after illness and self-imposed isolation, has lost much weight.  Harsh weather, doctor appointment cancellations & delays, picky eating, etc have brought her to this point...she is 74 pounds at the doctors office today.  She was 86 last August.  Severe pain in jaw, can't chew.  Showing signs of starvation...lethargic, unable to follow thoughts, mumble, etc.  We live across the country, she refuses to relocate, and always lies about eating meals, checking weights, etc.  Now son and doctor are on same page, son (my husband) is there until she is well--may take months, then a move to assisted living apartment.  She needs to eat, QUALITY foods, nutritious, and in small amounts until appetite builds and weight starts to come on again.  Doc has Rx the liquid that increases appetite.  Remember, can't chew due to nerve in jaw (that will be taken care of too) I'm thinking french toast, scrambled eggs, soups, bananas, baby food fruits, etc.  What else can a non-cooking son prepare for his mom?  What other sneaky ways nutrition be added?  I don't want this to become a control issue or power struggle between them.  I'm so worried!  I know eating too much at first is bad too...I'm guessing small amounts every few hours?  Thank you so much, I hope your answer is helpful to others who also may have this problem.  Meals on Wheels is a great program, and helps many elderly, but she signed up for it and won't eat the food...picky eater!  Help!

Answer
Since I am not a doctor I can't advise you medically in-depth. Have you thought about Ensure(this tastes like a milkshake) and has all the nutrients from the food you eat. My grandmother who will be 90 years old this year drinks this stuff by the boxload and loves it. She's gotten more of an appetite from drinking that stuff and she's eating more food now since starting her on this stuff. They have several flavors: Chcolate, Strawberry, Butter Pecan, Vanilla(the most popular flavor), and coffee latte. They have an Ensure Plus which can help people gain weight if they're needing to put it on and plus if your mother in law drinks it regularly since many elderly people love the taste she'll put weight on and you won't have to put multi-vitamins in her food.