About Saffron Expertise I can answer most questions related to Anorexia and other eating disordered behaviors. I am not a medical professional but have read a tremendous amount of medical and other information related to eating disorders out of curiosity.
Experience My eating disorder started when I was 15. I was anorexic until the age of 27. I went through periods of being less and more anorexic but I did not have a period for 10 years. I was a very high-functioning anorexic. When I hit about 70 pounds I knew I was at a point where I couldn't continue living a normal life (going to work etc.). I did not want to be hospitalized and I knew I was on a downward spiral. I struggled with severe depression and was given a prescription for an anti-depressant. It was not long after that I was really able to think more clearly and did not have the same level of anxiety and believe it or not, I made a choice. I could die or I could live and let go of my need for such control and not care so much how people perceived me and admit that I did not have to be emaciated to look normal as I had convinced myself. My recover started when I was 27 and I've not been "anorexic" since but I don't think one ever becomes totally free in the food and body area as one was before it all started. But I am very healthy now, not underweight and not overweight and eat healthily.
Education/Credentials I have a BA from an Ivy League college but no professional credentials.
Question QUESTION: My daughter is 16 and a half, and has over the past year had some weird periods of time where she drops weight and the amount she eats lowers. We know whenever her mother gets into contact with her she gets a bit "messed up" and depressed. Recently we had a big fiasco resulting in a BIG mess up, involving her mother. My daughter was crying for days, getting upset over tiny things, and i've had to keep her off work. Today is monday, and im very concerned as she hasn't eaten since thursday night. When we went for a birthday meal with family she couldn't even look at her food, left the restaurant to cry several times, and wasnt happy till it was taken away. The same happens whenever we try to feed her, my partner made her breakfast and she shut herself in the bathroom 'fitting' about it for an hour until we took it away. I cant make her eat, and im wondering if she has an eating disorder. I dont think shes underweight, but she has been in the past, and im scared shes going to get ill if she doesnt eat. Would a hospital help me, or would they only help an underweight person. Is she anorexic?
ANSWER: Dear Mark:
Well of course I'm not in a position to make a "diagnosis" as I'm not a professional nor do I have enough background information. However, in my opinion your daughter's behavior does not fit that of a true anorexic --thank goodness. It seems to me that she is temporarily acting out. She also does as you suggest appear to be depressed and she may need to visit a therapist and/or try some anti-depressants if a pscychiatrist feels they could help. Obviously you have some family issues with which she must contend and it seems to me that this is her way of dealing with them. Some people overeat, some take drugs, some have breakdowns and some people lose all their appetite and stop eating. I think her not eating here is more about making a statement and getting attention. How tall is she and how much does she weigh by the way? I suspect that if you ignore this behaviour for a little while it will no longer serve it's purpose and she will succumb to her hunger. Of course you must intervene if it goes on beyond today. She must be drinking because she couldn't last this long otherwise. I was always very slim when I was young and long before my eating disorder started, I remember refusing food for days as a way of acting out and getting attention and because I really did have no appetite because I was so upset. Of course eventually you get really hungry and you eat! Keep monitoring her and let us know what the status of things is.
Good luck!
Saffron
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QUESTION: shes been drinking diet lemonade, and thats it. shes 5ft4 and i think shes around 105, but she looks so small :-(. today we went to burger king, she wouldnt come so we left her at home with my mother. she still hasnt eaten and when i asked her if she was ok she replied "i dont know anymore"
Im not sure if shes attention seeking, as she prefers people to leave her alone and she tries to pretend shes eaten, i once found little bags of food hidden in her drawers, food we thought shed eaten. It just furthers my worries. thanks
ANSWER: Dear Mark:
What's the latest? Now that you tell me that she actually tries to convince you she's eaten food when she realy hasn't I would say that is definitely more eating disordered behavior. But at 16 being 105 pounds at 5ft 4 inches actually isn't out of the range of normal for small boned slim girl. An eating disorder would manifest itself over a long period of time but what you describe sounds like a very intense phase. Has this strage behavior been going on for a while? Has she eaten yet? She sounds very depressed but clearly doesn't know how to express it. Have you tried talking to her very directly about what's REALLY going on?
My best,
Saffron
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QUESTION: Right, the latest is...she's still very depressed, and it doesnt help that her and my partner are not talking because of the food thing at the moment. She's been eating, but only fruit and she'll eat half a lunch if i make her sandwiches. Agree this is very intense..but in the past she has been very bad with food, for the past year and about 3 months i've seen her weight drop, go up a little for a while, then drop again. Today she came home soaking wet, she'd been walking around the local lake, but she was out of breath so i think she was running. Im happy shes eating a little bit, and her long term boyfriend seems the only one who can convince her to eat more then a small childs portion. thanks
Answer Dear Mark:
While she may not technically be anorexic, she's exhibiting obvious eating disordered behavior. Some teens will go through such periods and then get over it. So you may just have to be patient. I would say monitor her closely and if she continues or seems to get worse and lose even more weight you should really confront her about it very directly. You can see if you can get her to a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and mood problems. Monitor her mood too because what she may be doing is trying to self-medicate. I spent years combatting my depression by being anorexic. The act of starvation and over exercising can raise serotonin and dopamine levels and also serve as a distraction. If she starts to get too thin tell her she looks terrible because she is too thin and she's losing her looks. Believe me this gets them every time. I remember it really bothering me. Obviously there are many other factors that contribute to this behavior other than vanity but what teen wants to be told they look terrible?
All of this said, it appears to me as an objective observer based on what you've told me that she's struggling with some emotions that she doesn't know what to do with and maybe a really honest conversation would help.
