Expert: Gerri Helms - 6/5/2009

Question
I have a close friend that is at the moment who is having trouble being happy with what she looks like. Shes been feeling this way for many years.
Her doctors havent diagnosed her problem as anorexia yet but she has been given food suppliments to help gain weight (shes skinny at the moment but just about healthy)

Her problem is that shes worried and extremely anxious about putting any more weight on, even though she does realise she isnt fat. Its a vicious circle whereby when shes happy she eats, but putting the slightest bit of weight on makes her anxious and unhappy, therefor goes through spells of not eating.

do you have any suggestions at all for someone who wants to help her? I'm aware that this may just be a deep seated mental health issue but any suggestions would be a massive help.

thank you.

Answer
Dear Barry,
It is difficult to help people who are not asking for help. Until your friend thinks that she has a problem, she'll not seek help.

Your description does sound like she may be anorexic. There are a few 12 step programs that deal with anorexia:
http://www.anorexicsandbulimicsanonymousaba.com/
http://www.oa.org

Remember though, if your friend is not asking you to help her, odds are excellent that she won't be interested in your suggestions. You might visit the websites yourself to gain more information, in case she ever does ask her.

You are also welcome to refer her to me for a complimentary session, but I would direct her to one of the above 12 step groups for help. I know that there are OA meetingss in the UK. I can give you the name of a man there who can at least provide support for you and if your friend wants to go to a meeting, he can direct her. He would also have access to recovered anorexics in your area.

Hope this is helpful.

Gerri Helms
Life and Health Coach
author, "Trust God and Buy Broccoli."
http://www.lifecoachgerri.com