Expert: Saffron - 6/13/2009

Question
QUESTION: hi, since moving away from home last october, I lost weight instantly, not because I tried, I just did, I think it's because back home food was readily available and wholesome. I think I eat sensibly. But within the last few months my eating habits have been out of character- I've become a vegetarian, I chew and spit out packs of biscuits, hack my food up into chunks and chuck must of it away and now I've been eating just 2 bowls of porridge a day with fruit. I don't want to be skinny I just find myself doing these things...

ANSWER: Dear Rosie:

There must be something (perhaps subconscious) that is causing the behavior.  Are you sure you're underlying motive isn't to lose weight? Or to maintain this new weight after the weight loss? Why else would you be reluctant to swallow food?  Is there anything else going on in your life that may be causing you to use these bizarre food rituals to deal with the stress -sort of as a distraction? Did you become a vegetarian willfully for health or ethical reasons or do you find yourself an accidental vegetarian?  It's hard to understand the motivation of this behavior without having more information about your feelings and life and more general context.

But what you are eating is pretty healthy but not necessarily hearty.  

Would need to know more before being able to provide any more insight.

Best,

Saffron

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: accidental vegetarian, I just didn't eat meat because it just wasn't in the foods I was eating and then when I realised I didn't miss it, I've stuck to it.

When I went back home for the first time since leaving to go to college my family were shocked and concerned because I was already slim anyway, so I wanted to put a little weight back on... But then my older sister lost a lot of weight and I had always been the skinny one and now she is too... She was always a little plump... Maybe that has something to do with it?!

I have no stresses really in my life at the mo, I'm really happy. I'm baffled.

:)

Answer
Hi Rosie:

Okay, if you don't miss eating meat and you are making sure to get enough protein from other sources then I say more power to you.  I'm a vegetarian too for ethical reasons.  I think it's good on so many levels, health, the earth and the animals.  However, if you crave meat ocasionally, I say give into it because your body is telling you it needs something.

I think there's a subconscious/semi-conscious interest on your part in maintaining this new even slimmer appearance.  It may be partly because of the extra attention you received from your parents and then also the concern with maintaining that identity and feeling like you will no longer be special.  You are special to your parents whether you are super skinny or skinnier than your sister or whatever it might be.  Don't fall into that competitive thing with your sister.  Please!  If you are naturally slim, you are very lucky and try to just live your life and be happy and keep stress to a minimum.  If you are really happy then you shouldn't need to change and you certainly don't need to waste your time with these odd food rituals.  Maintain your family and friend relationships, keep busy and productive and eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full.  Try to eat healthily but have fun sometimes too and get ice cream.  You're young, healthy and happy so don't waste these vital and super fun more carefree years worrying about whose slimmer and all that stuff.  When you hit my age 39 you'll be saying to yourself "What was I thinking?  Why didn't I appreciate things the way they were!?"

Good luck and keep us updated!

Best,

Saffron