Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 7/11/2009

Question
So it's been a long year. Last year at this time I was very sick. In and out of
the hospital until I finally was allowed to go residential in St.Louis. Before I
went there I got to my lowest weight ever. I went into sepsis shock while in
hospital. I went out to st.louis in October and came back the second week in
April. My issue is that I had the way my body looks. I've restricted and my
weight goes up passed the point of where I was when I left MP.I can't find a
therapist around here so I don't have anyone . It sucks I need to talk to
someone but I've been an hour and a half away and they won't take me
because I need higher level of care. I don't want to go because I haven't lost
weight like last summer, I just need someone to talk with. What would you
do? I also don't understand why I hardly eat yet can't lose weight. How am I
ever going to happy in this body?

Answer
Dear Sarah,

I'm so glad that you wrote!

The good news is that you can be completely well from the eating disorder and still be slim.  Not anorexic, but slim.  Being well doesn't equal being fat.  

I'm so sorry that you 've had such a tough time since you've been in treatment.   Without knowing anything about you, I would suspect that your metabolism isn't working anywhere near normal.  It would be so wonderful if you could get treatment again -- and the kind of treatment that wasn't just about weight restoration.  The kind of treatment where if you need to gain weight , the gain would be very slow -- 1-2 pounds a week so you can keep up with the weight gain psychologically.

I think that a good transformational living program would be good for you where you could go to school or have a job and still continue to live in a supportive environment where you could learn to appreciate yourself again.

I'd like for you to try a little experiment.  In the left-hand margin of a piece of paper, draw a stick figure without a head.  In the right-hand margin of the piece of paper, draw a little circle.  This is a picture of a person with an eating disorder.  The mind and the head are completely disconnected from your body.

The purpose of good treatment is help you reconnect with your body, and learn to care enough about yourself, and be excited enough about life that you wouldn't want to do anything that's harmful to your body -- like restricting.

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com