Expert: Ryan Hale - 7/24/2009

Question
well.... my best friend goes thru alot of crap on a day to day basis and i think he suffers from depression on and off. and sometimes wen he gets upset or depressed he stops eating. not because he thinks hes fat or wants to be thinner, but because he "cant bring himself to" and whenever he eats something he throws up. not by choice but cuz he cant keep it down.
so my question is, do u think this is an eating disorder? cuz i no 100 percent its not a choice thing. i jst dont know wuts wrong and neither does he. but he wont c a doctor. i was wondering if u had an opinion.
thnx,
Mikaela

Answer
Mikaela- it sounds to me from what you've said that your friend has a problem with depression.  Even though he doesn't eat or throws up if he does, it's not the same.  Although many who have eating disorders also have depression, he is not withholding food or throwing up for the same reasons as someone with an eating disorder.

It's important that you or someone convince him to see someone.  He ultimately has to say yes, but everyone around him who cares needs to do what they can to help him seek help.  There are many people who can at least get the ball rolling: his family physician, a school or community counselor, even the police if they think he may harm himself.  Once he begins to see a counselor, hopefully he'll stick with it long enough to get help.  It is a slow process to build that relationship and if it isn't working out (and sometimes it doesn't) he needs to not give up and simply try another therapist.

If at any time he seems like he could harm himself or says things like, "It just seems hopeless."  Get help right away.  Even if you have to call 911.  describing things as being hopeless is scary and can lead to him hurting himself.  Even if you think he will be upset by you calling, it could be his way into a system that can help him.  I've worked for an ambulance service and I've seen people call us for something like this.  Often the person is upset that the call was made and that they have to go to the hospital to be evaluated, but usually, after they get the help they need, they realize that the 911 call helped them to start to get better and was their ticket to getting help.

Please write back if you have any other questions