Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 8/3/2009

Question
Hello,
I am 5 months into recovering from 11 years of anorexia.  I brought my weight up from 102 to 135 lbs. in 5 weeks.  Not intentionally.  I couldn't stop bingeing/eating/craving once I began to allow myself to eat again.  I've never weighed more than 125 lbs. even prior to anorexia.  I have always been naturally on the thin side even when I ate pizza, donuts, and Burger King.  My weight never exceeded 125 and was typically between 118 and 120. I'm 5 ft. 7 inches.  Needless to say, I feel like I have a tire around my waist and have been at holding steady at 135, that is as far as I know.  I don't weigh myself to avoid obsessing over my weight.  I eat everything and anything in moderation and work with my nutritionist to do so.  However, I tell my psychologist every week that I won't be entirely happy again until I loose 10 lbs.  I will never return to anorexia!  It was so miserable.  However, I'm constantly hating my body because of the 10 lbs. I gained during my bingeing episodes when I first started recovering.  I still get these out of control binge episodes where there's nothing I can do to stop it, no matter how well I stick to my eating plan.  I feel like a strong force takes away an rational eating behaviors and these nothing I can do to stop the binge and so I just go with it.  Binges used to occur every other day.  Now they happen about once per week.  Still too many times for me.  I feel that I'm never going to be happy until I no longer binge and can shake off the extra 10 lbs. I gained.  When will these binges stop?  Will I ever be able to get back to my natural weight of 125 again?  How long will it take?  I'm so eager to move on with my life and completely enjoy my two boys, husband and everything else life has to offer.  I want to put this horrible sickness behind me and feel comfortable in my skin again. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.  I feel so close to being "there" but once a binge happens and I walk and feel the jello around my middle giggling, I get so upset and can't focus on what matters in life!  
Vicky

Answer
Dear Vicki,

Congratulations on doing so well in your recovery!  It's wonderful
In regards to the bingeing, it happens for one of two reasons.  First of all there can be an emotional event in your life, even something that is subtle or small, that can cause a person to overeat.  Secondly it can be a drop in blood sugar -- maybe you've gone too long without eating, maybe you've eaten too much junk food which can set you up for a binge.

I'm willing to do an experiment with you if you'd like -- For 7 days, every day at the end of the day, email me what you had to eat for each meal, what you had to eat in between each meal, and what you feel every time after you eat something.  If you have a binge, tell me what happened that day or the day before that could have been irritating or not at all good -- anything stressful!  We can get to the heart of the problem pretty quickly that way!

My email address is jrust@mirasol.net.  This is hard to do but as I said, we can get a lot of information pretty quickly!!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com