Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 8/22/2009

Question
Hi,
I am 19years old and became anorexic when i was 15. i lost about 20kg, from 63kg down to about 45kg. i am now 54kg. since last year when iwas at my lowest i began to binge eat about once a week and ate soo much all day and didnt stop. the next week i would exercise and restrict my eating again eating only dinner. i put on a lot of weight despite this. over the last few months ive managed to lose a bit by eating less again. for over 1-2 years unless i am bingeing i only eat dinner. i am now starting to get back into the bingeing habit again and i hate it. i still am depressed and have all the thoughts and everything of an anorexic but now im not even thin and that frustrates me because in every other way im anorexic but dont even get to be thin! i dont want to keep bingeing either. i only eat dinner throughout the week, exercise 3-5 times a week and i still look fat! i tend to bigne on a sunday. i allow myself to have thai for dinner twice a week for being good. its a huge meal but its at the end of the week. the weird thing is is that i feel really happy when im bingeing like nothing matters and the food is all so yum but then am disgusted afterwards. i dont know what to do as i dont want to get any more fatter i actually want to lose a little bit or just remain wher i am, but im scared if i eat anymore than dinner (because tahts what im doing now and still gaining weight) then i will just go right back to the body i was 5 years ago. i hate myself and my body and find it really h ard to go through each day. all i think about is food, calories, weight, exercising etc. i get really paranoid about exercising to. i dont do it hard out but i just get really nervous that i wont do it and end up not sleeping during the night cause im worried about having to do it the next day. i would love to enjoy food, but not gain weight. i would love to be happy and get my friends and life back again. i hope some of this has made sense as i find it realy hard to get out but thank you for listening.

Answer
Dear Courtney,

I'm so glad that you wrote!  You've been having such a difficult time.  I feel so sad when I hear that someone's whole life is consumed by an eating disorder..  You're missing so much of our life right now when you need to be having fun and doing lots of fun things with your friends!

How tall are you?  Your weight is not high at all --

One thing that happens when you eat only one meal a week is that your blood sugar is swinging all around.  So you're hungry at night and want to eat it all!

I'd love it if you saw an nutritionist where she could give you a meal plan -- I love to see people eat 3 small meals a day and 3 small snacks -- protein, fruit, vegies, with a little bit of carbohydrates -- I'm not a dietitian so this is why I say to see someone --

With the proper diet, you'll be able to stop binging, your blood sugar will stabilize, your weight will stabilize, and you can start having fun again!

Let me know how you do!!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com