Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 9/14/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi, i've recently been diagnosed as having an eating disorder and i'm struggling to accept it and to want to change. My weight hasn't changed a great deal since i was 13 but now i'm 19, 6 foot tall and weigh 110 lbs. I love my body. I really do. Its the only thing i like about myself. I do not think i'm fat so i tell myself that i can't have an ED. I'm tall i'm meant to be thin. I am scared that when i have to start eating more i will become fat. I know that being this thin is not healthy but i'm happy, Overweight people aren't healthy but if they're happy they aren't forced to change. I don't feel like i suffer with this ED. I eat whatever i want when i'm hungry i just guess i have a  hard time recognising that i am hungry. Even when i get hunger pains its not immediately obvious its related to hunger. If i tried to recover i don't know who i'd be doing it for. How can i accept this isn't right? I'm so confused.

ANSWER: Dear Kate,

I felt so sad reading your note.  You really do have an eating disorder.  You have a BMI of 14.9 -- which would put you at a weight where you almost need hospitalization -- and definitely treatment!!

You're not eating, dramatically reducing your food intake, and throwing your body into starvation mode.  You have what's called lack of proprioceptive awareness and what that means is that you can't tell when you're hungry or when you're full!

The body is like a little stove.  Food is the fuel the body uses.  When the stove isn't getting enough fuel, the body in order to keep on going (lungs, heart, etc.) begins to feed off of itself.  sounds disgusting, I know but that's what happens.  The body feeds off of muscle mass including the heart and the brain!  People when they get lower in weight literally cannot think clearly even though they believe they're just fine!

Most anorexics will die of a heart attack and oftentimes the brains of anorexics literally become smaller because of lack of food.

Can you see a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders.  I know that National Health will pay for it.

Please let me know how you do!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi again, thank you so much for your reply. i've been kidding myself that i am naturally slim but then that would mean i was eating normally which i doubt i am. Today has been a day of tears but also hope. I have contacted a local eating disorder unit and am waiting for them to get back to me. I am tired of being tired and cold. Its tempting to let myself succumb to the voice that tells me to lose and immerse myself in my disorder to have an identity of some sorts. I need to find out who i am and i need to start today. Thank you again for your time, hopefully this note isnt quite so sad to read!

Answer
Dear Kate,

I am thrilled to hear your response.  Congratulations!  It takes so much courage to look at ourselves and then actually take the step to get some treatment.

The eating disorder voice will be so strong at times -- just always try to find that healthy voice which will get bigger and louder the further you go in recovery!

I'm curious -- what is your passion in life?  When you haven't had an eating disorder, what do you love to do?  This is the secret -- finding the passion that all of us have within us.  When we've found our passion, we don't have time to have an eating disorder -- it's no longer of interest!

Keep in touch -- I'll be thinking of you!

Warmly,
Jeannie
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com