Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 12/18/2009

Question
QUESTION: i haven't had anerexia for very long only about 6 months and well i see so many people (medical proffessionals) that i feel croweded almost. this is a good thing for everyone else because it makes me eat and find control in my life. its just that everytime that i go and see one of my people i feel as if i don't belong there that i am wasting there time and that i have failed to be anerexic properly. i feel not only guilty that they are not treating people with more severe cases ( i haven't been admitted to hospital) and i hate failure and it makes me so depressed that i am being 'sneaky' with my food and wake up in the middle of the night and do excessive workouts and well. i was just wondering what i should do about this. i am really considering just ditching all the proffessionals because its like i am killing people everytime i go and move out of home so that i can live freely with out my family controling me. but i know this is not the road to recovery and well i am only 16 and also suffer from OCD, asberges and adhd. would you have any advice ?

ANSWER: Dear Madelaine,

You are killing anyone but yourself, Michelle!!  It's a wonderful thing that you're able to get medical help.  I have had many people who have what's called Eating Disordered Not Otherwise Specified.  This is where you have many of the anorexic behaviors.So many anorexics that I've spoken with over the years often think that they're not thin enough for treatment or that they're not sick enough.  My guess is that you've been a pretty good anoexic -- What really is the definition of a really good anorexic -- one who is thin enough to have to be hospitalized, have a tube shoved down her throat, and is in danger of dying??  Douens't sound very usccessful to me!

I always ask people if the eating disorder is having a huge negative influence on their lives.  Is it keeping you from being normal in you life -- is it keeping you from being relaly successful in ways that are truly important??

Please see if you can ask your family to get you some good treatment for adolescents!  It could make such a huge difference to you -- and for them to send you somewhere that's somewhat away from home so you can become a little independent and then you can work with your parents as a family for what's going to be best for all of you.

Let me know what happens, please?

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: its taken me awhile to reply to your message but i guess a brief updates in order. i was hospitalized for awhile not for weight but for my mental state!! yes so i came out of hospital all recovery orientated and i was supposed to see therapist twice a week but my therapist kept canceling my appointments and i saw her once in the month after my discharge. this was obviously not beneficial and i began restricting - and then last weekend i hit a point where my mind just lost all control every last bit of it and my body became crazily animalistic for food. at one point i actually tied myself up but my body bite me and lets just say put up one hell of a fight - and won. i binged for 2 days. now i can't regulate my eating behavior and i keep on swapping between binge and restriction. i try middle ground normal and it just turns into binge. obviously with each binge come the purge and i have thrown up so much that my glands look like tumors on the side of my neck all the time and the blood vessels in /around my eyes have popped. i hate to burden you with this information but i feel like i am stuck in a rut and i dont want these behaviors to become so embedded that i can't let it go. thank you jeanne for your previous message and any answer you give to this one.  

Answer
Dear Madeleine,

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you!!  You need to find another therapist right away!  The one you started with is not good at all if she is so unreliable!  You need someone you can trust and who will help you help yourself.

It also sounds as if you could use some residential treatment.  Do you have any family or anyone who can help you get treatment?  When you were in the hospital did they put you on any kind of medication?

Jeannie