Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 1/11/2010

Question
Hi!

I am 20 years old, and between 5'2" and 5'3". When I was 13, I became anorexic, and later, also bulimic. I was very underweight for a long time. My lowest weight was 82lbs, when I was 14. For the next several years, I stayed between 105-110.

I got a little bit better towards the end of high school and my first year of college, but I was still practicing eating disorder behaviors. I would get up, skip breakfast, have something small for lunch (like a muffin or a small thing of fries, ect..), maybe a little thing of crackers or a 100 calories pack for a snack, and then I would go home, eat dinner, and throw it all up. So, really, I wasn't getting that many calories.

I've only really started recovering this past year. I met this great guy, got married, and moved to an army base. I gained a little bit of weight when we were dating seriously, and got up to about 115. In the past 9 months, I've started eating normally, and have shot up to 140lbs!

I am not overeating. I usually have a bowl of healthy cereal for breakfast, an apple and a glass of milk for a midmorning snack, a bowl of reduced calories soup or a sandwich for lunch, and then I make dinner for my husband and myself. We eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and don't really eat out much,maybe every other week (and even then I try to eat healthy.) Somedays I get so busy that I forget to eat lunch, or I miss breakfast or something. It's completely unintentional, but probably 3 or 4 days a week, at the end of the day I think to myself, "wow I really didn't eat that much today." So, I'm definately not over eating.

I go to the gym every single day, and work out for 90 minutes. I do the cycle and the elliptical. Sometimes I do the rowing machine and situps. I've been going to the gym for about 2 months now.

I've gained like 1 pound every week for the last month! I don't understand how am I still gaining weight! I have noticed my legs toning up some, but I haven't lost any inches in my waist or dropped a single pound. I work out and I try so hard to eat healthy and balance out my meals. I am really confused and getting pretty discouraged. I feel like I should just give up. I have been very depressed lately, and feeling like no matter what I do, I will never get down to a good weight again. I want to be healthy for myself and my husband, but I still have the urge to fall back into the eating disorders.

I think to myself that it would be so easy for me to do this and my husband would never even know, since he is frequently gone all day or all week with the military. I am also embarrassed to go to the doctor about this, because of the whole military things. I'm not sure that eating disorder treatment is covered by Tricare and I don't want to be an embarrassment to my husband, who is an officer. I'm ashamed to let anyone other then my husband know what a struggle this is.

Do you have an idea why I am struggling so much to lose weight? I would like to get down to about 120, which I think is a healthy weight for my height. Do you think that my metabolism is still shot? Also, what can I do so that I stop gaining weight and start losing fat? Thank you so much!I appreciate any advice you can me!!!

Answer
Dear Kelly,

I can't begin to tell you how many people struggle trying to either gain or lose weight when they've finally gotten into recovery from an eating disorder.  It is so hard because a person's body just doesn't seem to respond in something that feels normal.

In your case, you're doing so many things well --  I would find a dietitian privately and see about a good meal plan that could help you lose a bit of weight -- not a lot.  If that isn't affordable, there is nothing wrong with weight watchers!  It's a healthy way to eat, and I think you'll figure out the portions (or points) and you'll experience some success.

Please let me know how you do!  It doesn't sound like your eating disorder is active right now so you can try out some other options.

I'll look forward to hearing from you!

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol, Inc.
888-520-1700
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
@jeanniemirasol
http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeannerustmirasol