Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 1/20/2010

Question
hi, im 16 years old, 5'5, and i weigh 115 lbs, with 8.3% body fat. i have a few questions regarding my eating, and i want to know if i have a problem.

well ill start at the beginning i guess... my sister was diagnosed with anorexia a few years ago, and she is still struggling to overcome it. i realize what a life changing disease this is, and i didnt think that i would ever end up suffering through the same thing as her. however, in july, my best friend began restricting her eating. i was extremely worried about her, and tried to help her maintain a healthy weight. she was not getting any support from her family, so i began to feel as though it was my job to keep her healthy. i was so scared that whe would have to go through what my sister did. i wouldnt want that to happen to anyone.

however, monitoring everything my friend did soon became extremely stressful. i became aware of how my friend viewed other people's bodies, and this made me extremely self conscious. i began restricting my diet and exercising much more.

in october, i weighed 148 lbs. since then i have lost 33 lbs. i know that i shouldnt be restricting my eating like i do, but i cannot help it anymore. i dont eat breakfast or lunch, and i try very hard to get out of eating dinner. my parents are worried, but whenever they make comments i shrug it off and make an excuse. then i make sure they see me eat a lot that day.

people at school have started to tell me i look unhealthy and too skinny, but i think they are wrong. i still think i need to lose at least 15 more lbs. im very competitive, and my best friend weighs 100 lbs... so i feel the need to beat her.

i know what im doing is wrong, but i really dont think that i have a problem. i was just wondering if you could give m some feedback on that. but if i do have a problem i dont think i want help. my sister's anorexia was a huge burden on my family, and i do not want to put my parents through that again.

im sorry this is such a long question, i just want to know what i should do. thank you for your help!

Answer
Dear Marie,

You definitely do have a problem.  Eating disorders frequently run in families.  With your friend, you've ended up getting an eating disorder yourself rather than helping her.

You said it yourself, helping your friend is stressful.  Eating disorders are stress related conditions and you're really on a downhill path --

Please keep in touch and let me know when you decide to stop!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol, Inc.
888-520-1700
Www.mirasol.net
Www.edrecovery.com
@jeanniemirasol