Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 12/29/2010

Question
Hi
So im really worried about one of my friends. She is what you would call a high achiever and is really smart so kindof the last person i would have thought this would happen to. When she was younger her familu went through a bit of a rough patch and she started eating noticeably a lot more and once told me it made her feel in control. Eventually she got back on track and back to a healthy weight.

The thing is, im really worried about her now. I reckon shes probably still a "normal" weight but she has lost so much it makes me scared and i wondered if its still possible to have an ED without being seriously underweight. She denies that shes lost any weight at all and gets almost agressive when either me or any of our friends mentions her eating. She never eats lunch at school but sometimes brings a satsuma whch she peels obsessively and then doesnt eat. Im fairly sure shes not eating at home either and when she came round to mine the other night she told my mum shed eaten at home but i know that isnt true as shed come straight from swimming.

It probably sounds just like im panicking but im just worried as at the moment i know she feels there is a lot of pressure on her to do well in exams and even though she wont talk to me about it i know shes worried about someone close to her who has been diagnosed with cancer. The other day i also say what looked like cuts on the inside of her arm but she quickly pulled her sleeve down and mumbled something about her cat.

Please help, i just want a little bit of reassurance as im scared and worried about her. Could it be she has an eating disorder or the start of one and how can i help?

Thank you
Tom (15)

Answer
Dear Tom,

I'm so glad that you wrote.  Your friend definitely is having difficulties.  She's restricting and trying to hide how she eats.  Eating disorders are a stress related condition.  People use them as a away of coping with stress in their lives.  This is exactly what your friend is doing.  She's scared, her life feels out of control, and she's using the eating behaviors as a way of coping in a painful world.  The same is true of the cutting she's doing.

She needs to get some professional help, Tom.  I don't know if you know her parents -- if they're close to her.  Or is there a great teacher or counselor at school that you could talk to.  You can also tell Rachel about how sad you feel about the behaviors you're seeing.

This is so hard, because I know you care about her.  See if you can find someone for her to talk to -- se if she'll go to see a professional!!

Please let me know how this goes!

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol, Inc.
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
1-888-520-1700