Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 12/31/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi

So I have always had a kindof "interesting" relationship with food, my parents have always put quite a lot o pressure on me academically and in my activities outside of school and it often feels like food is the only thing i have any real control over.
  When I was about 13 a couple of close family members became seriously ill and that, coupled with the pressure I felt was being put on me made me turn to eating. I didnt realise at the time but what i was doing was on the verge of being almost, well a binge eating disorder i guess- I would secretly hide food and sweets in massive packs and sit in my room and just eat. Eventually i got it under control but continued to comfort eat.
  So i guess you could say i have a bit of a history but the thing is, now things have gone the other way and i was wondering, could it be i have an EDNOS? See it started when i got ill about 5 months ago on a trip- i was feeling ill and it was easier just not to eat at all. But when i got better i still didnt feel like eating that much. This year i have some massive exams coming up and some family issues have occurred. If im honest, yes I do think of myself as fat and I do calorie count. This has been going on since when i got ill and although im still a healthy weight I have lost almost 2 stone but I just cant bear the thought of putting on weight. It makes me feel physically sick.
   So i know this probably sounds like nothing but I just wonder if its more serious than i think it is, all my friends are worried about me so i just wanted to know if you think this is something i should speak to someone about.

Thanks.

ANSWER: Dear Bernie,

I'm so glad that you wrote.  It seems as if you've been struggling for quite some time.

I'm quite impressed at how insightful you are.  You know the reason for the eating disorder -- stress in your life (mostly from your parents).  You know exactly what's happening even with the exams coming up, family issues, and being ill.  All of these things are involved with an eating disorder.  

I don't know what your height and weight is, but it is definitely time for you to see a therapist who specializes in treating eating disorders.   Also a good dietitian is helpful.

I have something on my website that is so good -- it's called Causes of Eating Disorders -- it's under the Learning Center.  Read those and you'll be amazed.

Write me back with your height and weight and let me know what you think about the Causes!

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Owner
Mirasol, Inc.
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
1-888-520-1700

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi jeanne
firstly thank you for replying to me, that means a lot. I took a look at that list of causes and i know what you mean about being amazed, I was almost relieved at the fact that the issues I am currently having are in that list as it makes me feel like it is not just me being stupid.
   Currently I think I am 5 foot and 1 inch and I am 115 lbs (which I dont think is underweight) but I would ideally like to be less.
   I really appreciate your help as I know something is not right and kindof suspected an eating disorder but i cant afford to let anything affect my grades in my exams or my parents will be so disappointed. Even saying that now I kindof know that deep down that is what this is about. I just want a little bit of control over my life.

Thanks again
Bernie

Answer
Hi, Bernie!

You sound like you're a dedicated student and want good grades.  An eating disorder is progressive.  They get worse -- and you don't just wake up one day and it's gone.  It gets worse and worse and then it really will affect your grades and school activities.

Now is the time to even start with a school counselor -- go and ask for help of some kind.  This isn't about disappointing your parents or not disappointing them  This is about your having a serious and potentially dangerous condition.

Please talk with your school counselor or some other adult you trust like a teacher, grandma, aunt -- someone like I said that you trust.

Let me know what happens!

Warmly,
Jeannie