Expert: Matthew Cook - 3/13/2010

Question
Hi,
I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but have struggled with weight and constantly trying to be thinner then I am even when I was down to 6 stone.
I get better, feel better, eat more but still always worrying about my size and then I go down hill again and stop eating. I've never made myself vomit, but have eaten, chewed, and spat out the food.
I really don't want to be like this for the rest of my life, and I feel i'm making a fuss over nothing. I know its in my head, and for me to change but I just can't. My friends have been so frustrated with me in the past, even when I was travelling around the world with all the distractions in the world it still came down to the same thing...calories. I hate when people talk about it or try to help me because its so embarrising and they truly don't get it. And I just can't explain it.

Answer
Hello Harriet.

As you say that you have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, is it safe to assume that you have therefore never had any professional help to deal with this?

It is not for me or anyone else to make diagnoses over the internet, but several of the behaviours and thought patterns you describe certainly point to this possibility.
And such eating problems can be very hard to overcome by ourselves.

The first step to make sure that this is NOT for the rest of your life is therefore to speak to your doctor who can refer you to see a specialist who can help.

You say that you hate it when people talk about it or try to help you, and that you feel like its all a fuss about nothing. Many people with eating disorders have similar feelings of not being worthy of help and this can be part of the problem.

To make it easier to tell your doctor what you are going through, you could print off what you have written here, or write a letter that explains all your symptoms and feelings. Having the letter to show your doctor will help if you find you cannot express what you need to verbally.

Friends and family can try their best to help, but you cant really expect anyone else to “get it”. That’s why you need to speak to someone who knows all about eating problems and CAN help.

You can also try contacting the eating disorder organisation such as BEAT:  www.b-eat.co.uk helpline: 0845 634 1414

So please do speak to your doctor, and I hope you find the help and support you need soon,

Best Wishes

Matt C