Expert: Matthew Cook - 4/5/2010

Question
Hi Matt,

I am 21 years old and may have been living with an eating disorder throughout my teens without fully realizing it. I do remember having a lot of weight/appetite fluctuations, but I assumed it was normal. I'm 5' 5'' and my healthy weight tended to be around 115 - 120 lbs.
Around the time I graduated I had gotten a -little- heavy, and wanted to lose some weight so I'd look my best when I began my new job. Well about a month after that, I lost my period. Then I noticed that I was getting thinner and thinner, so finally I decided to start eating more. Yet for some reason I never fully gained back all the weight I should have (at one point I weighed 102 lbs. That scared me!). Some people thought it was just my metabolism and that I was "lucky", even though I hated not being a healthy weight.
What may have deterred me from continuing my efforts to regain was when I saw a gynecologist about my missed periods. I weighed 115 lbs that day, and she assured me that I was "Definitely not underweight. In fact, you're heavier than I was at your age!" That did it. I stopped upping my calories again and started getting depressed and weak.
What I've been noticing is that every time I get close to my goal weight, I start feeling "fat" and losing my appetite. It seems like most of the regain is probably water, because suddenly it'll flush out and I can see my ribs again, then I go into a panic and binge all day. I'm so sick of this! What should I do? I know it's silly and vain but I hate having extra weight in my belly and thighs, water or not. I also have a fear of gaining too much weight and not being able to lose it, or looking disproportionate and gross.

If my body has gone this long being in the starve/stuff routine, will I be able to fix my metabolism to be healthy again? I'd also like to note that my aunt and grandmother both have uncontrollable weight/thyroid issues, which -may- have been brought on by eating disorders.

Answer
Hello Jean,

You will certainly be able to find your way back to good health again - but it would be good for you to ask for some support to help you achieve this, as you are struggling to do so by yourself despite your efforts. (You do not mention whether you have ever spoken to a specialist regarding this in the past).

You need to speak to your doctor and describe what you have here, and ask to be referred to see someone who specialises in eating disorders. You will need to describe your history of weight fluctuations, (especially the very low point you reached) and your feelings of fear around gaining weight. You could print off what you wrote here to give to your doctor if you feel talking about these issues might be difficult.

Your weight might not be so low at present to meet a diagnosis of Anorexia Nervosa, but it certainly has been in the past, and the issues you describe are certainly indicative of disordered eating patterns. At least a referral to a counsellor/psychologist and a dietician would help.

And don’t forget – in the US you can phone the National Eating Disorder Association helpline on (tollfree)800-931-2237

Good luck and good health

Matt