Expert: Ryan Hale - 4/6/2010

Question
Hey Ryan,
My girlfriend is suffering from anorexia.  She has been for years, long before I ever met her.  My question is, is there anything that I can do to help?  I have tried to encourage seeing a councilor or someone like that to help, but she is unwilling to.  Is there anything I can do to help her with this, or is some form of councilling necessary?  I'm really clueless on how to handle the situation.  I feel that something has to be done, because I think its getting dangerous.  Any information that you could give would be extremely helpful.  Thank you

Answer
John- there are often many factors that contribute to an eating disorder.  Among these may be a distorted body image, a history of abuse (sexual or physical), the messages one receives from society and the media, messages one receives from parents and peers, psychological trauma, family problems (even in a family that appears to have it all together), and there may even be underlying depression or anxiety disorders.  If drug or alcohol use is part of the picture, the chance for death or suicide goes way up.  Eating disorders have the highest rate of death among all mental disorders.

As you can see, it would be very difficult for someone to get over it, even with the support of friends and family.  But, that's the greatest thing you can contribute... support and non-judgment.  It's difficult, because sometimes it's hard to be patient with someone.  It's not just a behavior though, most people with this disorder or even addictions will tell you that they'd rather live any other way than how they are living.  People can be manipulative though, agreeing to get help one minute and then throwing up road blocks to treatment the next.

Your job is to be helpful, supportive but firm when it comes to her needing help.  It takes a multidisciplinary approach to help someone with this problem though: a doctor to monitor medical condition, a nutritionist to help with food planning and choices, and a counselor to help with the psychological aspects.  As you can see, fixing one doesn't cover the other areas.  Often, people attempt to just see a nutritionist or a doctor, but the problem involves many areas of someone's life and takes a multi-pronged approach.  Hope this helps.  Good luck.