Expert: Ginger - 7/23/2010

Question
Hi Ginger,

I have been anorexic for 5 years, and a year ago I began bulimic tendencies. I don't binge very frequently, but I do purge at least once a day, even after a normal amount of food. I'm really trying to conquer this and I find that one of my biggest problems is feeling too full and then purging. Even a small amount of food makes me full and gives me that feeling, so it makes it really hard to avoid purging. I was thinking about trying to just drink Ensure nutritional drinks for my meals, because I don't think that would make me as full. I was wondering if that would be a good idea or not. Would it be nutritionally sound? Would it do more damage to my body/metabolism/stomach in the long run, once I try to start eating food again? Thank you so much for any help you can give me!

Answer
Hi Katie,
I can definitely relate to your situation! I remember feeling and wondering the same things during my recovery. Drinking Ensure/Boost drinks isn't a bad idea at all- they've got lots of vitamins and nutrients in them that your body needs. When I was in your situation, the nutritionist told me to drink them, and even told me about the puddings (did you know there are Boost nutritional puddings, too? They taste just like normal pudding- yum). The thing I'd be worried about, though, is that you want to replace food with the drinks. The drinks aren't meant as a total food replacement, so you really do need to eat something with them. There are many viatmins and nutrients in the Ensure drinks that actually *need* some carbs, proteins and fats in actual food in order to be absorbed by your body (this is the same reason why taking vitamin pills but not eating food does nothing for you- the vitamins can't be absorbed). If you drank only the Ensure, your bowels would likely become lazy, and your stomach would adapt to processing liquids only, so that when you finally did try to eat food again, you'd likely feel worse than you do now.

I know the anxiety that comes with feeling full, trust me! The only way to get past that, though, is to try and live through it, as hard as it is. Feeling full is a nice feeling for most people- it's just your eating disorder that's telling you it's not good. Just think of little babies: they cry when they're *not* full. When they're full, they're content and often so comfortable, they want to take a nap. The more you actually live with and accept the feeling of being full, the quicker you'll get past it- I've been there! The easiest way to deal with it is to eat with people, and stay at the table for a while afterwards. Try and distract yourself with conversation. When you feel the panic, tell yourself the full feeling is a normal, good human emotion and it's just your disorder that's telling you otherwise.

It's normal for a lot of people with anorexia to slip into bulimic tendencies as they're recovering. Have you been seeing a counsellor? I think this could definitely help you. Seeing a nutritionist might also be a good idea. This is what I did when I was in your situation- she helped me plan meals in advance, and helped me pick foods that would give me the nutrients I needed with making me feel too much of that "full" feeling. It worked!

E-mail me anytime, Katie.
Good luck!
Ginger