Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 10/16/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi Jeanne
Thanks for taking the time to answer this.
I am a 47yr old female and my BMI is 21, I have been seeing a Therapist we started talking about food and I got so angry, I get really annoyed when anyone discusses the way I eat. I have all ways been a fussy eater,people comment on the amount I eat. Even though I have never had a low BMI for any length of time. The only time I can remember being too thin was after the birth of my first born. In the past I have stopped eating to lose weight for a day and then returned to a normal pattern of eating for me. I don't do that now but I do restrict the amount I eat, my feeling is shouldn't we all if we are getting heavy which is the way I feel at the moment. I don't count calories though I estimate I'm eating against the energy i will be expending. I've put my scales away as I know I was getting to hooked into the number on the scales. I like the feeling of being hungry and seeing how long I can ignore it. But I feel I keep my weight well controlled within a healthy range. Is this not what we should be aiming to do.

ANSWER: Dear Sam,

This is a difficult one!  There are very few people that I know that are perfect eaters.  And there are something like 33% of all women who are restrictive eaters.

You don't have a low weight with a BMI of 21 -- you're within a normal range.  So clinically you don't have anorexia.  I don't think that starving yourself is a normal thing to do -- to feel hungry.

My thoughts are that you have a lot of material available for some deep therapy.  Why do you feel the need to deprive yourself?  Is there any element of punishment in there?

There are a million questions I could ask you.  Your obsession with your weight could be a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder but I don't know enough about your history to diagnose you!

Talk with your therapist about what your goals of therapy might be.  See if you can get some more information about the food issue -- eating is one of the very first things we do after our first breathes.  It's symptomatic of many issues that can occur later in our lives.

Let me know how you do, Sam!

Warmly,
Jeannie Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol Inc.
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
8888-520-1700

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for your reply Jeannie,
this is a difficult topic for me, one I would like to sweep under the carpet. My therapist says its a subject that i don't want anybody in on and that it feels like the one thing that i have had control of. I suppose in a way that is true and I want to keep that control. the therapist has also talked why i need to deprive/ punish myself. I don't see that way. I see it as being in control. Is that an issue? I think its a topic to put aside for now because the more we talk about it the less I eat. What do you think?
Regards Sam

Answer
Dear Sam,

I think you've really answered your own question!  BTW, a desire to restrict can be about control AND a need to deprive yourself.  I don't know your background but sometimes people don't feel as if they really deserve to enjoy food or feel satiated.  

Normal eaters do not have to sweep discussions of food under the rug.  They can talk about food normally.  They know when they're hungry and when they're full and can discuss it without any stress.

If your need to control your eating were not an issue, what would you be feeling about eating normally?

Hmmmm....

Warmly,
Jeannie