Expert: Meg - 1/19/2011

Question
For the past 2 years i have gone through stretches of time where i would restrict what i ate and exercise a lot but it has never gotten bad. (i have always been skinny and very active) I am 15 and just got my period, so i have gained quite a bit of weight (like 20 pounds) and a coach made a comment about how another girl is the skinniest on the team. This hit home and really made me feel bad because being skinny was the only thing I ever had and now I dont even have that. So about two weeks ago I started restricting my diet just to lose that little bit of weight to make me the skinniest... and I feel that I can't stop now. Actually I dont know... because I feel like I could but I just cant push myself to actually do it... And im scared about what might happen if I dont. Im in basketball right now and have taken up running 4 miles every night (to burn off the calories I take in) im 5'6'' and 107 currently but I feel like i have globs of fat everywhere. I also am a perfectionist and very smart... ( i know.. these are the characteristics) I dont really know what to do. All i know is I hate my life and losing extra fat may help. Sorry for the long answer.. Am i just being stupid and this is nothing? I hope so.

Answer
Hi McKenna,

Thanks for your question and I hope that I can be of some help.  I'm so sorry that you're feeling like you're fat and needing to lose weight.  It is wonderful that you are aware of what is going on and that you are taking a look at it now, rather than later.

It sounds like you certainly do have many of the characteristics that put you at risk for developing an eating disorder (intelligence, perfectionism, a high value on being "thin", feeling fat when you are definitely not).  And, your though about hating your life and thinking losing weight can help is 100% eating disordered thinking.  Very often, people with eating disorders attempt to control their weight when the rest of their life feels out of control.  So, given all of these things, you are very wise to be taking a look at this now.

Here is a self quiz if you want to take a look at it and see how you fare:

http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/questionnaire.php

And here are some other helpful links that might be of interest:

http://www.something-fishy.org/whatarethey/edordiet.php

http://www.caringonline.com/eatdis/intro.htm

It sounds to me like you might want to try to talk with someone (or at least try to work out in your head) the other things that are bothering you with your life.  It is very easy (and very eating disordered) to think losing weight will solve the other stuff.  And true, at least in the beginning, becoming obsessive about weight and diet will take your attention off of the real problems.  However, very quickly, an eating disorder turns into an even bigger problem and then you have to deal with it as well as the rest of your life.

You sounds like a very intelligent, self aware 15 year old with lots going for her.  It sounds like you have hobbies, interests and lots of important stuff in your life that is not worth risking for an eating disorder.  Honestly, from experience, I can tell you that all you get from being anorexic is wasted time and health issues that can take years to resolve.  It truly isn't worth it.

If you feel like it would help, talk with someone at your school, a family friend, a counselor about what is really going on in your life and then you can work on making that stuff better.  You are already very thin, so your feeling fat is definitely a body perception distortion.  I know its difficult when you're 15 and you are beginning to have more of a woman's body than a child's.  Many girls feel uncomfortable as they make this transition, but I guarantee you that you are not even close to being "fat".  

Hopefully, this helps at least some.  Good for you for being self aware enough to catch this early on and I hope that you can reach out to someone as well as learn a bit about eating disorders and put a stop to this sooner than later.

Please feel free to write again if there is ANYTHING else I can help with.

Take care!

Best,
Meg