Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 11/3/2011

Question
I'm 5 5" and 115 pounds and 15 years old I'm a D but I'm not filling out anymore because of my weight., before summer I was 5 4" and 127 pounds and 14. I normally eat healthy but when ever I eat something not healthy I have triggers to eat more bad food. Should I gain weight? And how should I gain weight?

Answer
Dear Vita,

You sound like you're quite a nice size.  Don't worry -- I notice that you have some foods that you call good foods and some that are bad foods.  No foods are bad foods!  Here is a definition of Normal Eating:

What Is Normal Eating?
Many Americans have spent so many years of their lives either stuffing or starving themselves that they forgot what Normal Eating is. People beginning recovery need to explore and learn for themselves what Normal Eating is. They find that it is centered mostly on learning to feel when they were hungry and feel when they were full.

That is it. Very simple. But oh, so complex! You will notice that I am capitalizing Normal Eating. I am doing this to stress the importance of this vital skill. It is one of the goals for recovery from an eating disorder: to become a Normal Eater.

There are some great definitions for Normal Eating.

1. It is easy to summarize normal eating in words:

    When you are hungry, eat
    Eat what you want
    Try to make healthy choices most of the time, but allow cravings
    When you have stopped being hungry, stop eating.

2. Normal eating

Not eating the exact same way everyday, but rather balancing eating habits out over several days.

Feeling hungry and then eating until satisfied.

Trusting your bodys hunger and fullness cues and paying attention to them.

Realizing you owe your body daily fuel and nutrients to keep healthy, but without keeping a running food calculator or calorie counter going in your brain or being too restrictive.

Eating, or not eating, because you want to, not because you should. You control normal eating; it does not control you.

3. Regular eating habits distinguish normal eating. For most people this means eating three meals a day and including snacks to satisfy hunger. Eating should be regulated by internal signals of hunger, appetite and fullness. The goal is to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are satisfied.

4. Normal Eating Is
    Positive and flexible eating that depends on internal cues to regulate it. Being
    able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied.

   Being able to use moderate constraint in your food selection to get the right
   food, but not being so restrictive that you miss out on pleasurable foods. Giving
   yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad, or bored, or
   just because it feels good.

         Three meals a day, most of the time, but it can also be choosing a snack.
  Leaving some food on the plate if you know you are not hungry for it.

  Overeating at times - feeling stuffed and uncomfortable.

  Undereating at times - and wishing you had more.

  Trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating.

  Knowing it takes time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important
  area of your life.

  Flexible, and varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger,
  and your proximity to food.

         Reference: Adapted from Satler, Ellen How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But
   Not Too Much, Bull Publishing

5. ...a healthy relationship with food means eating in response to physical hunger most of the time. However, normal eating can also include experiences such as eating occasionally because something looks good, eating past fullness at a special meal, eating in response to an emotion once in a while or choosing foods based on nutritional content because this feels care taking. Attuned eating means that eating for satisfaction is predominant, and experiencing deprivation is virtually non-existent. Attuned eating is a natural skill. It can be relearned by people who have lost touch with their hunger and can be reinforced and nurtured in children so that they maintain this healthy relationship with food throughout their lives.

6. The four basic rules that Normal Eaters follow instinctively:

    Eating when you are hungry

    Choosing foods that satisfy you

   Eating with awareness and enjoyment

   Stopping when you are full or satisfied

         Author: Karen R. Koenig, LICSW, M.Ed. from The Rules of Normal
         Eating (2005)

7. Normal Eating nurtures wellness. What is normal eating?

  Normal Eating is usually eating at regular times, typically three meals and one   or two snacks to satisfy hunger. It is regulated mostly by internal signals of hunger, appetite, satiety. We eat when hungry and stop when satisfied.

  Normal Eating promotes and enhances our feelings of well-being. We eat for health and energy, also for pleasure and social reasons, and afterward, we feel good.

  Normal Eating means that food choices more likely provide variety, moderation, and balanced nutrition.

  Normal Eating promotes clear thinking and mood stability. It fosters healthy relationships in family, work, school, and community. Thoughts of food, hunger, and weight occupy only a small part of day (perhaps 10 to 15 percent).

  Normal Eating nurtures good health, vibrant energy, and the healthy growth and development of children. It promotes stable weights, within a wide range, expressing both genetic and environmental factors.

As you can see there are many definitions of Normal Eating, all of which say pretty much the same thing. I get so many requests from moms about normal eating and their children that I want to also give you this bit of information.

8.  How parents can encourage Normal Eating:

    Offer a variety of nutritious food at regular intervals with planned meals and
    snacks.

   Help the child identify hunger and fullness.

   Be a good example of normal, healthy eating and lifestyle.

   Follow Ellyn Satlers Golden Rule for Parenting with Food:

         a. Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in
         which it is presented.

         b. Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.

         Reprinted from Children and Teens Afraid to Eat: Helping Youth in
         Today’s Weight-Obsessed World, by Frances M. Berg, page 224.

Ellyn Satler in her book, How to Get Your Kid to Eat … But Not Too Much defines normal eating as follows.

Normal Eating is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it - not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to use some moderate constraint in your food selection to get the right food, but not being so restrictive that you miss out on pleasurable foods. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is three meals a day, most of the time, but it can also be choosing to munch along … Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for mistakes in eating.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger, and your proximity to food.

I hope this helps, Vita!

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com