Expert: Meg - 2/5/2011

Question
Hi Meg,

I am 18 and have been recently diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I am 45 kilos and 5 ft6".
I am seeing a psychologist and am having frequent trips to the hospital to track whether I am getting better (physically) or not by being weighed.
However, since being diagnosed and having doctors wanting to put tubes down my throat if I stay the same weight or get worse I find myself overeating, frequently. I am so scared that they'll lock me away.
Some days I get along fine and make sure I have three sensible meals a day, but other days my anxiety takes over and I eat whatever I can get my hands on. Today I had 2 slices of pizza, 2 apples, 8 chocolate coated biscuits, a pb&j sandwich, 2 bowls of cereal, crisp bread some mushrooms and carrots - just for lunch.
I really want to find a happy medium and I know I need to gain weight, I'm just a little scared.

Can you suggest anything?

Thank you

Taylor.

Answer
Hey Taylor,

Thanks for your question and I hope that I can help.  Sorry for taking a few days to get back to you.

I am very glad that you are taking steps to get better and that you have a psychologist and doctors helping you keep on track.  That speaks loads to your courage and strength to fight this.  

I'm sure its scary feeling like if you don't keep on track, they will put you in a hospital.  I think that this fear (while not fun to experience) has probably motivated a lot of people towards taking steps to be healthier.  

The fear of gaining excess weight is a very normal one in anorexia recovery.  It can often feel like in giving up the "control" of your eating disorder, that you are going to swing in the other direction and become obese.  I can assure you that this is not at all the norm and generally, one's body will only restore the weight it needs to be healthy.  However, its totally understandable to have that fear right now.

As for finding a happy medium, the best advice I have is to find a dietitian who can help you devise a healthy eating plan for your body in the state its in.  This is helpful as very often, if you are eating again but not getting all of the nutrients you need, your body can overcompensate.  That said, it is normal to eat more sometimes as you try to readjust to healthy eating again.  While you were sick, you most likely ignored your body's hunger cues and ate in a regimented way that was based on numbers rather than hunger.  In order to learn how to eat again and let your body adjust to normal eating, sometimes it may get a little confused and overcompensate.  This is normal and while it certainly can feel uncomfortable, with consistent eating and getting your body back to a healthy place, your eating will most likely even out.  Be gentle with yourself in the meantime and try to remember that you are taking really positive steps to save your life which is wonderful and exactly what you should be doing.

I hope this helps.  Please keep doing what you're doing and know that you can find your way out of this.  Feel free to write again if there is anything more I can help with.

Best,
Meg