Expert: Dawn McNamara - 2/11/2011

Question
Hi, I have been struggling with eating related issues for over a year now, I lost over 80 lbs in the first 7 months. In that time I would eat 100 or less calories a day and fasted for 7 days or so at a time. I now am trying to get back to a normal amount of food/calories but am terrified of gaining and of a lot of foods. I am currently at 800 calories a day, I eat the same thing everyday at the same time, it is an obsession; I have breakfast: 6:30 am 1/2 cup egg beaters (60 cals 0 fat) with half a piece of fat free cheese (12.5 cals 0 fat) and half a fat free turkey dog (20 cals 0 fat), 1 piece of toast (40 cals 0 fat) with sugar free fiber jelly (10 cals 0 fat), and a fat free yogurt (80 cals), Snack 10:00 am 1 rice cake (50 cals 0 fat) lunch 12:00 pm shrimp salad with no dressing and measured to be 80 cals 0 fat, fiber one bar (90 cals 2 g fat), rice cake (45 cals), sugar free peaches (25 cals) sugar free jelly (5 cals), 2:00 pm snack cauliflower (25 cals) 4 carrots (10 cals), and then a smart ones dinner (230 cals 1.5 g fat). I do 50 sit-ups before each meal/snack and 50 right after. It has taken me 3 months or so to get to eating this much and I try to add 50 calories every time the scale goes down, I really am trying to maintain but when i loose more I set the new weight as my goal and refuse to gain a pound, so whenever I go down a pound i add 50-100 calories but lately I haven't been able to due to fear of gaining and not wanting to add more fat to my diet. I feel like I am eating a lot but I know that 800 calories isn't healthy, even if it is a big step up from my fasting/100 calories a day. I don't know what to do and just wanted some advice. I am 17, 5 foot 5 inches, 112 pounds.

Answer
I think we may have been twins in a past life! Your doing really well, and I hope you allow yourself to feel proud of your progress. You have a right to it.
  The pride of losing a pound it still strong, and your gonna have to really fight that. I still have the same tenacious tendency to think of weight loss as 'good' and weight gain as 'bad' and there's a little urge to not want to give that back. But you are thinking with your logical mind and you have to keep doing that. Let your logical side take over as much as you can.  Structured eating is a good thing because it allows your body to get used to trusting you again.  Keep this in mind: your body naturally fluctuates by an average of three pounds a week. This is due to a lot of things, time of the month, fluid intake, humidity, the temp outside, time of day, insulin levels, and even the amount of crap in your intestine. And when your recovering from an eating disorder your bods gonna go up and down even more. So little fluxuations  are not a always good or bad, just natural. Keep in mind, your body needs some fat to absorb vitamins (fat soluble) and without adequate fats you are at risk of becoming vitamin B deficient. This will affect mood, vision, heart ant cause metabolic havoc. try 1 teaspoon of extra virgin olive oil a day with your salad. ( I have a mister that I use to spray it evenly on my salad) Its not enough to cause me distress, and after I added it My skin ( acne started to heal ). All fats are not equal. Some fat like avocado, olive, and walnut will help you rather than hurt. I eat 1/4 cup mixed nuts a day- I had to work my way up to it- but I didn't gain weight from it. If you keep fats in check, your body will use them for energy production and vitamin utilization.  The next step will be to do a little swapping Broccoli for cauli, grapes for peaches, whole grain crackers for a rice cake. Try trading items in and out, as you anxiety goes down. add a little here and there. Stay out of starvation mode
 Remember your body needs to get adequate fluids too, try adding a little juice to your water here and there. And take a multivitamin before bed.
Your doing the right thing by going slow, but do not allow yourself under 110 for any reason!
If you do , getting back on track gets even harder. because your body will try to horde. In order for your body to regulate you have to get to around 120 and hold onto it. It will take time. Go slow, be patient, keep your logic, and remember your not alone.
Dawn