Expert: Meg - 5/28/2011

Question
I always have felt over weight and I think I used food for comfort. Once I realized how much weight I was gaining, I knew I needed to do something to get rid of it. I tried eating less and healthier foods but I honestly couldn't find a way to not resist food. As more stress was put on my life, I turned to throwing up after dinner. I started off not eating breakfast, eating a light lunch, then throwing up my dinner. After several weeks, I started to eat more often so I could throw up more. I started to enjoy the feeling of it. This has gone on for at least four months now. I don't think I am necessarily "bulimic" because from what I have learned people eat an excessive amount of food within hours and throw it up. I make sure I don't eat as much and i do it under 30 minutes after eating so it doesn't start to digest. I don't want to stop. I don't feel I look any different yet I have lost about thirty pounds and it's the only way I can lose weight. But I'm starting to be slightly concerned because I have a slight tickle/pain in my lower throat and upper chest along with a deep cough. I never experienced this before and medicine doesn't help. My questions are, Is there possibly something wrong with my body? How long does it take for purging to harm your body? And do I have to be labeled Bulimic because I throw up?

Answer
Hi Alana,

Thanks for your question and I hope that I can be of some help.  And, I am truly sorry that you are going through this and hope that you can find your way back soon.

It sounds to me like you are a very intelligent person and you are aware of both what you are doing and that you have done some research on bulimia.  And, its great that you have the perspective to see that this might be a problem.

As far as using food for comfort, I think this is really a part of all eating disorders, whether this need manifests itself in not eating or binging and purging or overeating.  Really, all of these disorders often use food as a way to regulate emotions when we don't have other (healthier) ways to do this.  So, it is not at all uncommon for someone to feel like they swing from overeating to purging and so forth.

It sounds to me like you are concerned about being labeled as Bulimic (which, again, happens a lot with eating disorders-either wanting to achieve the label or feeling like one's behaviors do not constitute such a label).  In my opinion, the labels mainly exist so that insurance companies can bill and doctors can provide a general guideline as to what is going on.  However, the crux of an eating disorder is that your behaviors to control your weight or in dealing with food are not healthy and are causing (or will cause) your body undue harm.  And, it sounds to me like this fits for you at this time.

Let's look at what you're very clearly explained:  you are aware that you sometimes use food for comfort, your reaction to stress further pushed you to want to control your weight and eating by purging after meals, you actually enjoy the feeling of control this provides and feel (at this point) satisfied with the results.  And, you feel like its worth it and things are under control.  And, despite losing a measurable amount of weight, you don't feel any different but are concerned due to some scary physical symptoms you are experiencing.  

Now, to me, someone who suffered from an eating disorder for much of my life, your logic makes sense.  However, if we step back and look at this from an outsider's perspective, it all sounds pretty eating disordered and dangerous.  And, sadly, your story is one that I've heard before as to how and why someone develops her eating disorder.  Purging food to lose weight is never healthy and even having lost a considerable amount of weight but still feeling the same, it sounds like you are definitely in the midst of the behaviors and thinking of an eating disorder.  

And I truly do understand wanting to be thin/feel okay with your body/etc.  Everyone (at least, for the most part women-and probably many men as well) goes through this.  However, once it becomes a way to cope and you feel that this is important enough to risk your health, it is pretty indicative of a problem.

There are many health problems that purging can cause, as well as skipping meals, etc.  I'll paste a few links below that can explain the technicalities way better than I would be able to:

http://www.something-fishy.org/dangers/dangers.php

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/dangers-of-bulimia.htm

When you are purging food, it is really hard on your body and digestive track and you are also depriving your body of nutrients, so no matter what your weight is, this can cause health issues.  What you are describing sounds to me (and I am NOT a medical expert or a doctor) like some issues with your electrolytes.  In the short term, you might want to try drinking some gatorade.  In the broader sense, you might want to look at what is really behind this all.  I am not one to say one can't try to achieve the body they desire.  The problem is that (as you are already experiencing), an eating disorder begins to mess with your health and further distort your perception so that even as you lose weight and get what you thought you wanted, you don't even feel like you are thin enough.  So, it can easily turn into a vicious cycle and draw you deeper and deeper in.

There is no standard as to how fast this all can harm your body.  It really depends on your health, age, genetic makeup, what exactly you are doing and how your own body reacts to this stuff.  People can get sick and have dire consequences in a short period and some people can do horrible things to their body and feel the effects way later.  

So yes, I would really try to take a look at what is going on, why this is happening and how you can find healthier ways to deal with whatever that is.  Often therapy can help, but I believe that even digging deep yourself can help to start you making healthier changes.  

I hope this helps at least a little bit.  I feel like I've rambled a bit, so please do write if there is anything I missed or if there is anything else I can do to help.  

You really seem like a smart person with a lot going for her and I can say from experience that going further into eating disorder land will only hold you back and stop you from getting whatever it is that you really want.

Take care,
Meg