Expert: Ryan Hale - 8/4/2011

Question
Help! I think i may  be anorexic, but I don't know what to do.  Last year, I realized I ate way too much. So i decided i would eat just a little bit less, but did not decide to diet or anything. This year, i ate normally, but then my pro ana friend came and told me i was eating too many calories. That triggered something in me. At first, i just started eating less in public, and i seemed to enjoy the comments i got: "you are so skinny. Eat more!" but then a friend of mine ate less than i did, and everyone commented on how little she ate. I felt lonely. I had always been. So instead of just not eating in front of them i tried to not eat by myself too. But i lost willpower and stopped for a while. But last month i decided i was way to big. I have lpst five pounds. I am 5'0 and 88 lbs, but i feel huge. I started at 93 lbs. I have stopped dieting for two weeks, but am going to limit myself to 400 calories a day. I have been told i am anorexic. I want to talk to somebody, but not my paremts. And my bff is annoyed with me talking about this. And i dont know what to do anymore!!!

Answer
Katie- It sounds like you are really struggling with this.  By clinical definition, you very easily could have an eating disorder.  First, your preoccupation with this is problematic.  Second, your refusal to maintain your weight is troubling and potentially dangerous.  Third, the amount of calories you plan on consuming is also unhealthy and somewhat typical for someone struggling with this.  So yes, this is a problem.

I can understand not wanting to talk to your parents about this, but in most cases, people who have eating issues not only have a problematic relationship with food, they often have problematic relationships with others in their lives.  That's why your parents are a good place to start.  By starting a dialog with them and opening those doors of communication, you can start the process of repairing any damage there may be to those relationships.  Whether there has been a history of abuse, divorce, or if you've just grown distant since becoming a teen, fixing relationships goes a long, long way in the treatment of eating disorders (in many cases).  You will also have the opportunity to say "hey, look, I'm willing to come to you in a mature way to ask for your assistance... I'm not asking you to fix this for me, I just need you to be there for me."  I'm predicting there may be other issues going on as well (romantic relationships, depressed or anxious feelings)?  You school counselor or a coach is a great place to start.  Also, your family doctor would likely have resources of people who can help.  Often it takes a team to help get through something like an eating disorder.  There are the family relationships, friendships, past history of abuse, the health issues that go along with this, etc.  That means your doctor, a counselor, a nutritionist are good to surround your self with.

Let me know if you haver any questions.