Expert: Ryan Hale - 8/13/2011

Question
Thank you very much with your previous answer. I feel bad asking you another question that probably doesnt make any more sense then the last one. I have unfortunately lowered my calories to 300 a day, though some days i have not had enough willpower to stay that low. I was wondering, is it normal to want to stop and try but cant? Because i know how bad this is, but for some reason this whole thing comforts me and i feel good with myself when i do not eat. Tomorrow i am starting competitive swimming and i have read that its hard to do sports and not eat. But anyway, i have been reading on anorexia, along with going on pro ana sites that i cant help going to. I dont know how to explain how i cant help it, but that is how it seems to me. My question is: is it normal to like an eating disorder and want to stop at the same time? Because i know this is a "bad life decision" and everything but i kind of want to have this because its mine. And yes, i am a worried and stressed person. And one of the smartest im my class, and my best friend told me she thought i was smarter than this. Im very confused in life and what to do about this.

Answer
Katie-  you are correct, it is very difficult to compete especially as a swimmer with cold water in the pool you burn extra calories and often have 2-a-day practices.  From what you've said in both emails, I am convinced more than ever that you could benefit from counseling.