Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 8/25/2011

Question
QUESTION: Hello, Jeanne. I have been told i have anorexia. For some reason, i feel like that is an accomplishment. And that even if i want to stop i cant because something tells me i cant. I am not sure if i want to stop doing what i am doing. Here are the synptoms that apparently "describe me". •Refusing to stay at a normal weight • i kind of obsess about my weight and looks. There is more but i cannot remember them right now. Anyway, i have also been feeling depressed lately. I wanted to know if you think i should talk to my bible teacher. She is also my choir teacher, so it may be awkward. I asked a friend to go with me but she said no. do you think i should talk to someome or try to get through this?

ANSWER: Dear dear Hilary,

I'm so sorry that you've not been educated in the symptoms of anorexia nervosa.  The ones you told me are certainly important ones.  People use an eating disorder as a way of coping with stress or pain in their lives.  What would you be thinking about if you weren't obsessing about your weight or looks?

Depression and anxiety go hand in hand with the eating disorder.  As you continue to be active in this condition, the depression will even get worse.

I would like to see you talk to the student counselor -- then see if they can refer you to someone who specializes in eating disorders.  A regular counselor or bible teacher can be very well meaning but they don't know a thing about eating disorders and their complexities, as a rule.  Can you talk to your parents at all?

Please keep in touch and let me know what you decide to do.

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: First, i would like to thank you. You are so sweet. I feel bad already asking more questions, let me know if you want me to stop.  
If i wasnt thinking about my weight, i would be stressing about an old friend of mine who is mean now, and my parents seem to like my sister better, and school.  I cannot talk to my parents (sorry im being stubborn..) because they would be disappointed in me for not eating when they are around. Sadly, my school doesnt have a counselor tht i know of. (i forgot to tell you that a nice friend of mine told my parents and they didnt believe her. They didnt even care enough to talk to me about it. They are really nice people though, they dont abuse me or anything.) I dont know if i want to talk to someone. I decided to strt with this and possibly work my way up to telling someone. I have heard about the dangers of anorexia. I do know i am not 85% below my weight. I am 5"0-5"1 (cant remember) and i weigh 89 lbs. I think its bad, and i want to lose 10 pounds. See, i have tried losing weight and i can only seem to lose 5 lbs, i started at a scary 93 lbs. i have started competitive swimming, hoping to be able to lose it. I have been warned about the dangers of anorexia, but i think starving and some purging is fine if you have it under control. I was wondering, do you know of another type of person i could talk to? (im so sorry!!!!)

Answer
I'm thinking, Hilary, about someone you could talk to.  Do you have any aunties or grandmas or any relatives that you like and are close to?  Do you have any of your friends mothers you could talk to?  What adults are you friends with?

I'm quite worried about you.  You are focusing on weight loss -- and not thinking at all about recovery.  You see, what happens is that you start down the slippery slope -- you think you're controlling the eating disorder and all of a sudden you realize that it's controlling you!

Let's find a nice adult for you!

Warmly,
Jeannie