Expert: Jeanne Rust, PhD - 9/29/2011

Question
I am 5'2 and a half and weigh 209 pounds. My "major" problem is that I have had this thing, ever since i was a little girl, where I MUST have everyone's "stamp of approval" i guess you could say. To sum it all up, one of my VERY good friends told me that I was fat. And it IS true. I do fit in the obese category. Well, about a month ago, I decided not to eat anymore. I skipped eating for almost 2 days. Then my friend told me if i didn't stop with the "starving" myself, that I would become anorexic. (But how can i be anorexic? IM OBESE! I look nothing like an anorexic) So, I ate for her. So, the next day, I decided that I WOULD eat. But, I would keep it at 800 cals or less. After a couple of days of that, I felt horribly guilty when i would hit the 800 calorie mark. I then reduced it to 650 a day. After some days with that one, I began to feel guilty about it. I reduced it to 500 caloreis after that. I am still keeping my 500 calorie mark to this day but now, I am starting to feel guilty about that to. I have been thinking about dropping it to 300? But,  I dont know if I should. Anyways, for the past month, I cant go 1 day without exercise. I will walk on the treadmill for 40-60 mins a day and then do 20-30 mins of Biggest Loser on the wii. Sometimes, I begin to feel light-headed and things of that nature and have to take a small break, although I do NOT want to. The other day, when i "confessed" to my friend my diet for the past month(because she asked me what i had been doing because i looked smaller) She kept saying that I had some kind of eating disorder called EDNOS? What in the world is that? I do not have a problem, I promise. I just don't want to eat because that is more calories and fat in my body. And then, when I DO eat, I feel AWFULLY guilty. I do drink at least 8 - 12 glasses of water a day. Sometimes, to satisfy my friend(since shes so "concerned") I will drink a glass of milk for its nutrients. (But, that is just 100 more cals I  will have to burn) Do I have an eating disorder?

Answer
Dear Claire,

I'm so glad that you wrote me!  Sometimes, many people will begin to use eating disorder behaviors because they don't know the right ones to use in order to lose some weight.  The big hurdle is to keep it off!

First of all, my dear people-pleaser, your friend has absolutely nothing to do with you or your body.  If she asks, you can answer her, but please don't feel that you have to have her approval, because you don't!  The idea is to develop a lot of self-esteem within yourself so you can do what's true for you.

Eating disorder -- maybe if I were going to take all of the behaviors and list them and do a diagnosis -- but you don't need a diagnosis.  You need a loving, gentle coach!  I have seen many people become anorexic because they're on a diet.  Then they become bulimic when they try to gain weight -- and the person can have a deadly problem!!]

You want to lose weight AND you have a lot of will-power -- wow, what a combination.

Here's the story -- exercise 5 times a week for1 hour at a time whether it's the Big Loser or the treadmill -- switch them up.

You can plan your food -- around 1000-1200 calories a day so you don't get sick!!

The program I really like is Weight Watchers.  It's a program that people go on, eat pretty normally, and don't gain the weight back or get sick!
You can even do it online.  It doesn't cost much but it's effective.

Please let me know how you do!  Remember you're the important one!

Warmly,
Jeanne Rust, PhD
CEO/Founder
Mirasol
www.mirasol.net
www.edrecovery.com
888-520-1700