Anorexia/Eating Disorders/Does it count as an eating disorder if its not consistent one direction or another and more depresion based?
Okay so I have been depressed for years and I really dont like my body. I have been having issues with being rejected and when I dont know whats causing issues I sometimes turn to my body. Im a guy who weighs about 160 pounds and im 6 foot tall but for a while my weight got down to 150 and i was really happy about it but still did not like my body but it went back up to 160 again on accident. My top weight i have weighed in my life may have been around 180 to 200 (im not sure since i didnt have a good scale then so it could be wrong). I keep thinking how fat I am. I mean i know im not like huge fat but i feel fat and i keep grabbing at the fat as i sit down or poking at my chest and things like that. My body type is I think called skinny-fat because i dont seem to have much muscle but i certainly dont feel skinny i just feel fat because of all the loose fat on me. A a bit over a year ago I made an attempt at purging for a week straight and I did not the best at it so I stopped trying since i was unable to make myself throw up enough food. When Im depressed I sometimes only eat once a day or I can go around 32 hours without eating but other times I just eat constantly through the day having junk food to make myself feel better but I feel bad about eating on some occasions as well. Other times I will only eat once a day but have a really large meal yet on some days I just eat 2 small meals. I enjoy the feeling of hunger when im really sad since its distracting to me but i get bored and need something to satisfy my pain more so i sometimes wind up eating anyway even if i dont relaly want to. If it werent for really tasty junk food or my family being around I think I would attempt at not eating for a few days straight. So does this count as anything even though I dont really go consistently one direction or another almost balancing and switching from one bad eating habit to another as if it balances itself out?
I am so glad you reached out to me. What you are describing is classified as EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). This category is for people like you that have some but not all of the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. It is actually the most commonly diagnostic category of eating disorders. It also sounds like you may suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) - not seeing yourself realistically - and body dissatisfaction - not being satisfied with what you do see in the mirror - both common factor seen in individuals with eating disorders.
Do you have a counselor you would be comfortable talking to about this? If not, please go to this website to find a counselor near you: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
. If you are not comforting talking to someone, I can give you some self-help resources, but if you are able, I highly recommend seeking treatment from a qualified professional.
Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help. Good luck!