Anorexia/Eating Disorders/Could I have an eating disorder?
For a while now I haven't been able to eat, or more that I just haven't been hungry. I'm seventeen this month and a girl with no worries about my body other than how skinny I'm getting.
This happened to me earlier this year and I'd almost throw up after eating, unless it was a breakfast drink. That lasted only two weeks though.
This time, it started sometime a little before mid year holidays, and hasn't stopped. I only sometimes feel like throwing up after eating, and it doesn't matter what it is I'm eating, only the time I ate (breakfast or lunch mostly) but that doesn't happen much. I haven't been taking lunch to school either because my mentality has turned to that I'm not going to eat it anyway. Most days I don't get hungry at all then get confused at dinner when Mum asks how much tea I want and I don't ask for much then go back for thirds.
I only eat breakfast some mornings when I feel like I can hold it down.
And weekends I tend to forget about lunch all together.
When I first stopped eating it was more unconscious. I more didn't feel like eating so wouldn't, and it slowly turned into hunger pains I would ignore until I got home and stuffed my face with Nutella sandwiches. Then hunger itself stopped. Or I just got used to the constant rumblings of my stomach. Right now I'm not sure if my stomachs growling at me because I'm hungry, or because I ate more today than I have all week. (too much chocolate cake is my guess, then too much chicken. and sushi)
My family knows me for being a big eater. At one point I was eating more than my Dad but now I eat as much as my little brother. Actually maybe even less.
I don't know how much I weighed before, and I don't know how much I weigh now, but Mum says my boobs have gotten smaller, and I've had to adjust the strap on my watch three times. Which is really scary. It's been years since I could suck in my gut enough to see my ribs, I haven't been able to since I was five I don't think, but I can do it again. It's not as fun anymore. Plus, while my jeans have always been a little loose on me, I've never been able to fit both hands in the gap between my hip and the waist band before.
I have been diagnosed with depression but don't take pills for it, and the school psychologist is organising for me to take a test because she thinks I might have an anxiety disorder.
I have been under a lot of stress.
The only medication I'm on are over the counter stress pills that I only started taking a week ago and have helped a little with stress but not my eating. None of the side affects have anything to do with hunger, or eating habits. Or anything really, I don't think they have any side affects that make a difference to anyone.
If you have any advice or answers for me I would be very grateful.
(ps. Every now and then, I do gorge myself and eat almost too much. I just get in that mood you know?)
It sounds as though you might be dealing with irritable bowel syndrome that could be associated with anxiety or stress. I'm not sure you have what would be considered a "clinical level" eating disorder. I'm not sure it means the definition. However, it sounds like you need to give attention to treating your depression and anxiety. I think if you do, your eating will become more normalized. It's also important to eat good nutritious food because even if you are eating but not nourishing the body your body could be sending mixed signals as it try's to tell you what it needs. Counseling is also more beneficial than medication alone. So, look into speaking with a counselor as well as using meducstion.