Expert: Joanne - 10/5/2007

Question
I had anorexia for about two years, I considered myself in recovery from late last year. I know I'm not fully recovered because although I don't have issues about my weight anymore, I still don't know how to eat normally.

I try to eat 3-4 meals a day. Small breakfast, light lunch, dinner, (then a snack, usually a cup of tea and a biscuit) then supper. Sometimes I will have a coffee or something later on. It's been going ok. With this routine my body has begun to expect when I'll be hungry... I'm always hungry at the same times so that's when I eat.

But sometimes I eat differently... like I'll eat more for breakfast than usual. This seems to confuse my body, because I don't know if I'm as hungry at lunch. I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I get a bit freaked out if I'm not hungry when I usually should be. It's almost like I panic slightly and I can't identify true hunger anymore. When I eat like this and I feel even tiny hunger pangs, I feel like eating straight away just so I don't accidentally starve myself... I'm confused with how much food my body needs right now and when to eat. I'll eat less just so that I'll be still hungry later on, just to keep with my regular meal times. If I'm not absolutely starving I think I'm not hungry at all. And I often feel a bit of both... a little hungry, but still a bit bloated from the last meal even hours after I've eaten it.

Is it normal to be this confused about appetite when you're in recovery? I really don't know what to do about it and it's stopping me enjoying anything I eat.

xx

Answer
I think that being truly recovered is to be able to eat what you want, when you feel like eating it, without any horrible emotions attached to it.  Some people may have other views!

I think you need to judge how you feel.  I can tell you to eat your larger breakfast if that is what you feel like, and then still try to eat a normal lunch and main meal, etc.  I could also tell you to avoid eating at times outside your routine and try to stick to your normal meals, but by doing this, you are still letting food and eating rule your life.

I think you need to do what you feel comfortable with!  Eat when you want to eat - providing this isn't binging or something late at night, I wouldn't recommend that - and what you want to eat.  My only advice is to be careful not to drop below your recommended calorie intake, and be careful not to go over it on a regular basis at the risk of possibly gaining weight and resorting to old behaviours to solve it.

If you are feeling to bloated after a meal, it may be worth talking to a nutritionist to see if there is adjustments you can make to your meals so that you are still getting everything you need from it, but without the full feeling afterwards.

Please try not to stress about this too much.  If you don't have a therapist/treatment team or Dr to talk to, it is worth thinking about seeking their advice.  If you do have these resources - use them!  Talk to them about how you feel about these meals and identifying hunger, etc.  Although you may not have disordered eating patterns at the moment, you may still have the disordered thinking patterns, so it is worth discussing this with someone and deal with the issue now rather than risking it becoming something bigger!

Please come back if there is any you want to ask!

All the best
Holly