Expert: Rev. Ke`ala Richardson - 2/5/2005

Question
Hello.  I'm a 20 yr.old Type I diabetic who has been struggling with bulimia in earnest for over nine months.  I have never made peace with being a diabetic.  Instead of taking injections to compensate for when I eat, I would prefer to purge.  It provides me with a way to "pretend" I am not diabetic because I avoid having to take shots by this method.  My boyfriend of over 3 years has been using heroin for about 1 year.  One night, he told me I should try it in order to better understand what he was going through in trying to give it up.  I did.  Amazingly, every urge to binge was gone.  It was heaven to have that weight lifted.  I have since been using it every few days (not intravenously) in order to avoid bingeing.  It tastes so disgusting that I cannot bring myself to eat.
I do not know why I am writing to you.  My parents have been urging me to go away to a treatment center in Florida, which has roots in Christianity.  I firmly believe this to be the only way "out" of the hell I have created for myself.  But I cannot bring myself to go.  I feel like I have no chances.  If I quit the little heroin I engage in, I'll still have to deal with the bulimia.  If I quit the bulimia, I'll still have to deal with being diabetic.  And as we all know, that will never go away.
I understand you are a priest of some sort.  Please pray for me.  I guess I have too much pride to get any help.  And too much skepticism.  Thank you.  

Answer
Well, you took a medical fact of being diabetic and avoided dealing with it with one addiction, bulimia and then you traded that in for another addiction herion, you may only use occasionally now but so did your boyfriend.
So now you still have diabetes and you are battling two addictions.

You are always going to have diabetes unless there is a new cure. Face it, deal with it and learn to be thankful that is all you have to deal with. YOu had a big pity party for yourself and indulged in dangerous avoidcance
behavior.
NOw you need to get some help, you need to take responsibility for yourself, your health and your attitude.
Your attitude is what makes your life, you get to choose your illusions. You choose to see life as being a
bit rough because of insulin shots, it could be worse, you could lose your arms or your legs or your sight.
It is up to you to deal with whatever the universe has given you as a challenge, for whatever our challenges are they are there for a reason, an opportunity to learn. If choose not to learn the universe usually just gives us  a harder lesson.
YOur choice, get help now, or get acquainted with death a  little bit at a time.
This is probably not what you thought you were going to get back, but it is the truth. I will pray for you to see that you now have a chance to get some help so you can find the blessings of life, even with diabetes.
20 years is long enough to know that life may not be easy, but you can make the most of any life.
You might want to check out our program at http://www.healhtretreats.info we have some great self help tips too.
I wish you the insight to see inside of yourself and see that you are more than your condition.
ALoha Rev. Keala