Expert: Joanne - 7/7/2006

Question
I am male, 33 years old, married with 2 kids, I consider myself slightly over weight and constantly feel I want to look trimmer.  Unfortunately I don't get much time to exercise and I have a very healthy appetite.  Now after every meal (just about) I make myself sick, this is extremely easy for me, as I just have to breath in, as if I am rifting, and every thing comes up.

This has been a habit since I left the army 11 years ago, I suppose its my way of continuing a healthy appetite, however, as I don’t exercise as much as I used to, I find this easy to control my weight.

I went to the doctors about 8 years ago, made 1 visit to a shrink, but never returned, I also got prescribed Prozac, but, I am still in this habit, which seems natural and I don’t think I am that bothered about stopping.  It's wrong I know, but I don't know if am sick, cause I do it, I make myself do it, it’s easy?

Regards

C

ps - I don't know why I am contact you, is it for help, do I want to stop, am I sick/depressed, I just don't know and feel foolish, paranoid, immature, daft.  

Answer
I'm sorry it has taken time to get back to you!  I work long shifts at the weekend to fit around my  course work during term-time, and am still working to those hours!

Hvae you talked with your wife?  I know how it feels to try to contact and speak to someone about these feelings and behaviours!  I thought that people wouldn't believe me, or that they would think that I was attention seeking, or that they would just tell me to 'get over it!'.  Thankfully none of that happened!

Towards the end of my 'bulimic phase', I found that I wasn't doing it to deal with feelings, or even to control my weight, but doing it just out of habit.  It became normal to make myself sick after eating!

Yes, it may seem to keep the weight off, but think about what you are doing to yourself on the inside.  Is staying trim worth that?

I think that you should maybe go and speak to a trainer and see what they recommend exercise-wise in order to counteract you appetite.  They may be able to recommend a programme that fits into your free time and gives maximum impact.  Either that, or maybe it is worth considering cutting something else down in your life to make time for the exercise if it is the only way that you feel you can let go of the bulimic behaviour.  In the long term healthwise, it would be worth it.

If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe you should consider visiting a dietician and see if they can recommend a good meal plan which allows you to feel satisfied, but in a way that doesn't make you feel like you are eating too much and won't make you gain weight.

Either way, I think that you should pay your Dr a visit.  They should be able to recommend contacts within your area.  I would also ask them to check your blood.  Just get him to make sure that your blood chemistry is all ok, as bulimia can upset the balance which can cause internal problems with organs such as your heart.

I think that you should make an appointment with a psychiatrist or psychologist again.  I really think that you should try at least once.  You don't need to go back if you aren't comfortable.

You will not be able to fight this until you decide that recovery is what you want.  You really need to own the problem and be ready to commit to finding other ways to cope with things.

I recommend that in the meantime I recommend avoidance.  You mention that you have kids.  Why not arrange to do something with them after meals so that you don't have the opportunity to purge what you have eaten?  I found that walking the dog after my main meal stopped me then!  It's maybe worth a shot!

Please come back if you have any more questions, or if you just need a friendly, non-judgemental ear to listen to you!

I am wishing you all the best
Holly