Expert: Meg - 3/25/2007

Question
Hi Meg,
I'm 17yrs old, 5'8" and 150 lbs. Sounds healthy right? It is. The only thing is that since I was 12 I've had an unnatural fixation on eating disorders(mostly anorexia), namely becuase my mom had/has one. I also suffer from depressoin which is controlled, but I have obsessive tendencies. I'm sorry this is so long but i'm almost done. I normally do theatre which helps me with my self esteem, but I'm giving it up for the spring so i can play lacrosse. And since then i've becoem slightly more and more aware of what i eat and how much i exsesice and i dont want to develop an eating disorder but it seems to be wanting to head that way. Do you have any advice to help curb this obsession and help prevent me developing an eating disorder?

Answer
Hi Melissa,

Thanks for your question and I apolgize in taking a few days to get back to you and hope that I can be of some help.  

First of all, kudos for being self aware enough to see what is happening and be so proactive in trying to stop this before it gets out of control.  You really sound like a very intelligent young woman with a lot going for her and its good that you are taking steps to get rid of this  before it gets in the way of any of your dreams.  

I know that its a hard situation growing up with a Mom who has an eating disorder and seeing the behaviors and attitudes that come with anorexia as you are developing your own beliefs about food and weight.  My mom also had an eating disorder and so I grew up with some very skewed perceptions about things and its taken awhile to unlearn those things.  In any case, I think awareness is the first step and as I said, you seem to be very in tune with your feelings which is excellent.  

Since you have the predisposition for developing an eating disorder (with your family history and your tendency towards depression and obsessive thinking) its good to take some very proactive steps now so that you can get pulled into an eating disorder.  Many people find that therapy, even briefly, can help you figure out what is driving you towards the obsessive thoughts about food and weight that an eating disorder.  So, if this is an option, it might not hurt.  

Often, eating disorders are a means of coping or dealing with either problems, changes or feelings that one otherwise does not know how to deal with.  So, another thing that might help is to identify some healthy coping mechanisms now and then when you are feeling overwhelmed and the obsessive thinking about weight starts, try to use one of them to get your thinking back on track.  

There are so many examples of healthy coping mechanisms, but here are a few that were on a list I received.  Try to find some that are most helpful to you:

play with a pet
listen to soothing music that will shift your mood
try some relaxing yoga exercises
draw or scribble designs on paper
write
compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling
listen to music that talks about how you feel
go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
do something creative
sing along with the radio
call a friend
curl up on your bed in a soft, cozy blanket

Sorry, I know this list is kind of cheesy, but there are some good ones there and I'm sure you think of some other ones too.  

Since you are playing lacrosse instead of doing theater, maybe find something else that helps you with your self esteem.  I'm sure you have many talents (including Lacrosse) and its true that doing things which you are passionate about and with supportive people help a lot in feeling confident.

Think about why you are starting to feel more fixated on your weight and food.  What else is going on right now that is causing you to focus on this?  Eating disorders are NEVER just about food or weight.  Again, sometimes if you can't figure this out, a therapist is a good bet.

You might try this exercise:  Try making a list (or a collage if you're more into that kind of thing) with all of the positive things about you that you're proud of.  Try to keep away from physical stuff and more on who you are and what you do and love to do.  This again might sound a little cheesy at first but is incredibly helpful in remembering that you are SO much more than just a body and you have many gifts that are because of WHO you are and now how you look.  And, its a nice thing to take a look at when you're having a rough day as well.

I hope this helps at least a little.  Feel free to write again if you need more ideas or if anything in my response wasn't clear or didn't fully answer your question.

As I said, my guess is that you're a very talented young woman with much to look forward to.  Keep healthy and believe that you are worth more than an eating disorder could EVER give you.  

Take care,
Meg