Expert: Reverend Abbott - 4/2/2005

Question
Dear Dreamreader,
I'm a male, 27yrs old and have been struggling with bulimia for the past 7 years. I don't need to tell you what a mess my life is. I'm constantly obssesing about my weight, checking my muscle definition several times a day and planning my day around exercising and bingeing. I binge/purge three times a days (basically after each big meal), I can't even remember last time I went to bed before b/p first.
At the moment I don't really feel any major health problem, at a times I do feel my heart racing after purgeing but that doesn't last long. My main concern though are my teeth, they are eroding really bad! I rinse my mouth with water+sodium bicarbonate after purging, I dont drink sodas or acidic foods, but the gastric acid is doing some serious damage to my teeth! Several need root canal, which I cant afford since I spend all my money on food, and right now there's one that is hurting like hell, yet that doesn't stop from sticking to my addiction... damn me!
What I would like to ask you is:
- Did you experience tooth erosion yourself and if so how did you deal with it?
- Could please give me some tips on taking the first steps towards recovery?
 I've read several articles, but some exercises they suggest  are so girlie that I just can't see myself doing them, besides most say you should talk to someone about your condition, but I'm a straight guy and I'd be embarassed to death to tell anyone about my situation (which I've managed to keep a secret pretty well), so this is pretty much out of the question! I hear so many jokes on tv about girls throwing up after eating and bulimia in general, those dumbasses have no idea how this thing can really grab you by the balls!
 So if you have any advice on how to start a recovery process that doesn't include "confession time" or going to therapy (not available where I am), I'll be more than eager to listen, I know that my life and future are at stake here. Thank you in advance.


Answer
Oh Ken, probably more than anyone else, my whole heart really goes out to a man with any eating disorder. While the percentage is still low, it's FAST increasing. The media is getting to men just as badly as they have a grip on women to fit into a mold that simply is not and cannot be real. ALL published photos (we're talking 100%!) in ALL magazines have some degree of retouching.  No matter what they say ("they" are selling those magazines).
 The teeth erosion can only be corrected by caps/crowns or other professional treatments that will no doubt involve replacing all or most of the tooth. The stomach acid (the strongest acid on earth by the way) has worn the enamel off.  Once it's gone, it's gone. If you don't get this treated, serious infection can result in the loss of jaw bone, spreading infection to sinus cavity and other areas, complications more painful and life threatening than you can imagine in your wildest thoughts.
  The heart racing is because you're not just weakening the heart muscle, but have a chronic imbalance in your electrolytes (which help regulate heartbeat). The embarrassing truth is that MOST (vomit-purging) bulimics are found dead with their heads in a toilet. Literally.  What a legacy!  See, it doesn't really seem to matter what you've done with your life, what people will talk about and remember (and embellish) is that you died with your head in a toilet bowl.
 After that, bulimics (all types) typically die from heart failure - even AFTER they've entered a recovery. There's always the chance your esophagus will spontaneously rupture and you'll spend several minutes fully aware that you're dying, drowning in your own fluids. This could happen while you read this, while you're getting dressed in the morning...without warning....anytime.
  PLEASE, be scared.  Be very scared.  
Yes, there are imbecilic jokes about e.d.'s all over the same media that promotes the unrealistic body images and frankly, I don't blame you for not wanting to go public with this. BUT - you know you need to stop and since this isn't your choice (e.d.'s are psychological problems in EVERY case) - you should also know you can't do it alone. Right?
 Check my site first - for more info and even links to help, but you also need to make some calls locally and explore what's discreetly available.  Try ALL your local church's, synagogues, etc. which often offer absolutely FREE counseling (or on a 'scale') and they need to be private. Call your hospital's mental health center and ask about help available for e.d.'s, including support groups.  Remember, these support groups are PRIVATE and everyone's there for the same problem - and to get help and be supportive for each other.  It's not about male or female.

Use my site to write to me as often as you need to until you get into something local ok?
 Let's try to go to bed tonight without the b/p.  Just tonight. Instead of doing that, get focused on something really important that uses your hands. Pick up a paint brush or a pen - just DO something until you can't keep your eyes open any longer.  One night.
 We'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

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