Expert: Meg - 8/2/2006

Question
I have asked you some questions before and gotten awnsers, so here I am again.
the recovery takes ages, and I feel huge all the time,i know you told me not to think about it, bu tit is impossibel. I look like an efephant. One thing I have notised is that my muscels has become really hard and infexibel, stiff and bid. I hate it. I used to be very supple and flexibel and have long small muscles (I looked a bit like this when i had eaing diosrder but not full blown anorexia) I really do not whant to look like this at all. What I mean is that there is no real "flab" anywhere just compact horrid body. Is this a part of the revcovery?
I have not exercised at all, Exept normal walking on the advise of my dietrician/ED expert, so how come the muscles hase become so blig and stiff, i feel like 100 years old and really infexibel, hate it.
Right now it is really dificult, it feels like I have a sane head /soul and sitting in a waiting room, waiting for my body to snap out of it. I have greatly considerd plastic surgery/lipo as this is just to much, I woudl like to ad that I am eating absolutely accoring to advised, never ever chest( nomal people would probably have lsot masses of weight by eating like this, i never put processed for or bad stuff in my body and have not done so for 8 mounth, why does it not end?
I can se some inprovment , but as I do that something else pops up. I hate being so frustrated and just wait, please help!
Thank you,
Åsa

Answer
Hi Asa,

Thanks for your question.  It's great to hear from you and although you're not feeling great about recovery, its really wonderful that you're still hanging in there.  

I know how frusterating it can be to wait for your body to catch up to your brain with this stuff and although I know its not too much consolation, it will happen eventually.  Its a good sign that you have seen at least some improvment and hopefully (although I know its so difficult) you can hang on and remember that it all will get back to normal eventually.  

One thing that might be helpful for you is to ask your ED specialist if it might be okay for you to try Yoga or Pilates.  I don't know if you have done Yoga before but its a fairly gentle exercise and *most* ED experts are pretty okay with allowing it as its not so much cardio but is more stretching.  You mention that all of your muscles feel big and compact and Yoga is a great tool for lengthing them again.  Not only that but its also a great way to relax and can help promote better sleep and relaxation.  So, if it is at all possible to try a yoga class, I think that might help you  a lot right now.  Even if there are no classes near you, there are tons of DVDs so that you can try it at home.  

Other than that, I would really suggest continuing to work on the other aspects of your life that are not weight related.  I know that this is very difficult coming out of an ED where EVERYTHING revolves around weight/food/eating.  However, the more into recovery you get, the clearer it becomes that while weight may always occupy a bit of your thinking, there are lots of other  equally important aspects of your life that are important and can be developed.  

Feeling like you are just "waiting" for your body to cooperate IS very frusterating pretty much no matter how you look at it.  However, if you can put some of that focus into figuring out what other stuff makes you happy and then work on putting that into your life as well, it really makes the waiting a lot less painful and ultimately makes for your happiness increasing.  What do you love to do?  Are there any fun classes that you've thought about taking?  Any sports/hobbies that have always intrigued you?  Try to think about this stuff and then try a few new things.  It really will help take your mind off of your weight and my guess is that by the time you get used to your new activities/friends and start worrying about your weight again, it will have evened itself out and you won't feel worried anymore.

Again, I hope this helps and I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this and commend you for your hard work and sticking with it despite it not always being very fun.  It will pay off and it sounds like you're almost there.

Take care and please write again if there is anything at all that I can help with.

Best,
Meg