Expert: Joanne - 6/13/2007

Question
Im twelve almost thirteen and I usally go to my friends for advice, but its differant this time...you see all my friends are skinny and have a slender build, and if they knew I had a eating disorder they would still be my friends but it would be differant, a little akward. Im somewhat skinny Im a size 1 at Hollister, but Im still bigger than my clique of friends.

Ive been having trouble with school and my family life, so sometimes I can get depressed.

My parents are fighting alot but just recently, never before.

They dont get along that well anymore, they never are together anymore. Last time they were was two weeks ago they came to get my from my friends house and likely of my parents...they got into a fight.

Im forced to do swimteam, cause my mom thinks Im to fat, cause Im not like my sister who is 17 and wears 00 pant size.



Ive just switched from a huge public middle school, to a small private school then I dropped out back into the public school.

Its hard to know your a failure so while Im home alone I will order a Small pizza with a can of Coke and maybe some fries or a dessert, stuff my face and throw up as much as I can, It makes me feel better about myself it releives stress.

But I cant stop...

I need help.

I was 110 pounds two months ago my last appointment before I started throwing up.

I went to the docters to talk to her about school cause of the problems I had with other girls at the private school I went to, She did a quick check up of my weight two weeks ago to two months ago is a 6.5 weight differance.

What if this keeps happening?

I want to be a model for "YAH" productions a near by modeling agency some of my ghetto friends model for so I want to be a double zero before the first try-out photo shoot, I also have Soccer try outs for the school its a big deal! If I dont make the team I will be devistated!

I need help and fast. Please whats your advice?
Can I stop hurting myself?
What if people find out?
What if my problem affects my soccer?
What if I get cut from the team again, like last year?

S.O.S


Answer
For starters - you can stop this if you get the right help!

You are worried about your soccer?  Well you need to be careful and get help for this soon!  Yes this will affect your soccer - you may become weak, and lack energy as well as struggle with concentration.  If this problem continues and your soccer team find out that you aren't getting help, you risk getting cut from your team.  Your team may not be like that, but no offence intended to you, if you had a good coach, they should cut you until you are well again!  For you own health, of course!

I don't know about modelling near you, but here in the UK, and most of Europe as well, they are trying to ban (some countries have already banned!) size 0 models.  They don't want models that have a BMI that considers them underweight (below 18 I think).  Your modelling company may not be like that though and still search for thin models, but I think that in the next few years we will see more and more fashion labels having to use 'normal' sized models - and where will you be if you are too thin?

You are only 12, you are still growing, to continue with trying to lose weight at your age risks you not developing properly.

Has your sister maybe had problems with her eating in order to maintain a size 00?  How do you get on with her?

You are having problems at home and school?  What kind of problems are they?  Are you comfortable talking about them?  Could you go to a guidance counsellor at school or someone else you trust such as a teacher to discuss all this?  Your sister?

Your Dr, can you speak more to her about this?  I recommend being honest with her?  See if she has someone she can refer you to?

All I can say is that you need to get help and find support.  You need to find someone that can help you through this, maybe someone that can help you approach your parents?  I think your parents need to be made aware of how they make you feel when they compare you to your sister, or make you exercise!

Please think about someone that you can turn to (and make an appointment with your Dr maybe?), and if you have anything else you want to discuss, please feel free to come back!

All the best
Holly